Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like, "I'm a bear." FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML
Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML
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Top comments
jazminbliss 2
then shout back "yeah and I see a bunch of asses"
Exhumed91 0
You should have asked them if they want to do it like they do on the discovery channel
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Comments (115)
PureGold 0
Aww :( I can't stand how people think they can say things like that cause they'll never see you again. It hurts just as much, if not more, than it would if someone close to you said it. I doubt any of those guys would say that to people they know. Just don't take it to heart, the guy who said it was probably just trying to be funny in front of his friends and ended up with a few "wtf man?" looks.
Timismaster 0
the guys a douche, and his friends probably didnt even think its funny
Adamantoise 0
And you wore your gorilla print shirt, right? Right?
FBIWarning 0
sounds like he's being honest, so take a hint?
himynameiskrista 0
You douche.
babe7260 30
Wtf is wrong with you ????
PianoManGidley 0
Are you Black? #3's reply was spot-on.
shortgurlsaywahh 0
Aww hun I'm sorry...yeah such a douche...as long as u didn't like let it ruin ur night its all good And #14 stfu
H3avy 0
LOL #7 and #3 and holy crap i just read #13 lol. yes, FML for sure.
MukyDaCookie 0
Razor and a shower might fix that. Or a switchblade or baseball bat. Whichever you prefer
shizzbangpop 0
"Hey, are we back in prehistoric times? Because I see a group of Neanderthals." FYL; such douches.
shortgurlsaywahh 0
Lmaooo @ 18 and 13 But yeah ignore that type of ish