Today, in an attempt to win a political argument, I recorded myself walking into a gun store and asking which gun would be best to hypothetically deal with my neighbor's annoying kids. I now have a recording of myself being chewed out, banned for life, and perp-walked out the door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was protesting a newly-opened gun store near my house, demanding safer streets and fewer firearms. My husband and the troglodytes he works with turned up and went inside to browse. Later, he raged at me for embarrassing him in front of his buddies. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I was detained by a security guard. I heard him trying to justify detaining me to his boss and it was basically, “She was eyeballing me, so I showed her who’s boss.” I'm now banned from the shop, which is a 30 yard walk from my home. My weekly shop is now a 4 mile drive away. FML
Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML
Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Thaylok 17
Stores around here would call the cops and hold you till they arrive. Likely they'd report you to mental health agencies.
Chazzster 32
OP, I’m sorry, but you have to be really dumb to try that in the era of “see something say something”. It’s an incredibly stupid thing to do… Your recording the conversation only demonstrated that you were trying to make the shop owner or employee look bad. I think they showed restraint in not calling the cops on you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (14)
Thaylok 17
Stores around here would call the cops and hold you till they arrive. Likely they'd report you to mental health agencies.
Brightside86 31
100% the right thing for them to do.
JackWood 21
There are plenty of other irresponsible gun owners out there why are you trying to join them?
Chazzster 32
OP, I’m sorry, but you have to be really dumb to try that in the era of “see something say something”. It’s an incredibly stupid thing to do… Your recording the conversation only demonstrated that you were trying to make the shop owner or employee look bad. I think they showed restraint in not calling the cops on you.
mike3775 39
Congratulations, you have won the “biggest moron of the week award”. You beat out such luminaries as politicians and Karen’s. Take a bow
lgrave 8
Next joke for you to try: yell bomb inside an airplane
nyjiamami 13
Dumb Azz just might try it at this point
vg 4
Honestly, I think you proved your point correct if you did that and just got thrown out and not reported to the police. Hypothetically you could just go on to the next store, adjust yourself a bit and walk out with a gun, since they didn't knew about the first incident since noone reported it.
1known 34
And that would be a good proof the system is not working properly. The first store did right but if you can go to another store it shows the limits of the system.
idragosani 17
If you were trying to prove how much of a dumbass you are, mission accomplished
lexxiasaurus 31
why do you think anyone would agree with you? that's not a joke to make in any sense. there's a half truth in there somewhere an I hope we see you on the national news being sent to prison:)
lexxiasaurus 31
so you joke about hurting a child to prove your political argument? buddy you lost any sense of respectability to have anyone want to listen to you, let alone try and have an adult conversation with if you can't even bring factual statements into your "argument" in general if you say political argument, you've lost. people have opinions that are their own. you cannot change others to appease you.
Hangryko 32
What the hell is wrong with you!?