Today, my parents' divorce was finalized, and my mother decided to publicly celebrate with a bikini wax. She calls it her "Declaration of Independence". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after much debate, I let my mom wax my eyebrows. Now I get to look super surprised until they grow back. FML
Today, I found out my mom was a swinger when I opened a closet and saw a water bottle saying something with "Swinger Club" on it, with three bags beside it with all kinds of shit in it. She's also doing pole dancing "as a sport" and wanted to have one installed in our living room. My parents divorced just a couple of months ago. FML
Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML
Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML
Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML
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Top comments
Iamnotmyself 17
We, the people of the beach, are slightly less disgusted if you bikini bottom falls off, thank you.
babygirlc1 5
It's about time she shaved the bush
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Comments (71)
midwestdude 0
Your meat rocket is better off being jammed in a dog knot tree hole than to have a bloated dead cow explode on your semen shaft.
oklahomaguy 0
I like the danger, and I love to **** animals in the backyard of random houses cause i like the excitement
midwestdude 0
Do you ever get mad penis disease. I can't seem to get mine to quit foaming at the mouth.
Lightninglight 1
Hey, at least she hadn't asked people to sign her "Bill of rights", right?
manichimon 2
Thank god you don't have to sign it...
greenlime_fml 3
That's awesome
mojjo21 4
How bout cal her George w BUSH
elkied 8
You mean "pubic"ly celebrate?
Shazam25 7
Why is this an FML? Selfish, much?
jackspezzle 7
More like pube-ically celebrate