Today, my parents' divorce was finalized, and my mother decided to publicly celebrate with a bikini wax. She calls it her "Declaration of Independence". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after much debate, I let my mom wax my eyebrows. Now I get to look super surprised until they grow back. FML
Today, I found out my mom was a swinger when I opened a closet and saw a water bottle saying something with "Swinger Club" on it, with three bags beside it with all kinds of shit in it. She's also doing pole dancing "as a sport" and wanted to have one installed in our living room. My parents divorced just a couple of months ago. FML
Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML
Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML
Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML
Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML
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Top comments
Iamnotmyself 17
We, the people of the beach, are slightly less disgusted if you bikini bottom falls off, thank you.
babygirlc1 5
It's about time she shaved the bush
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Comments (71)
fledrocknrolla 0
Everybody celebrated one way
alliteen 3
not "publicly," PUBICLY. :D
xcarxcrashx 9
Maybe someone can make another pube/ publicly joke...
HomelessMuslim 0
Too bad She's not Muslim.
cman25 0
Ur mom sounds hot
sandmancometh 3
Nice! I hope she got the Brazilian.
zombiekitten87 12
A public bikini wax? That sounds horrifying
grnfairy 5
Good for her for gaining her I independence
HappyPickles 11
Why is this an FML for you? Your mother can shave/wax/botox whatever parts of *her* body she wants. If your father was anywhere near as controlling and passive aggressive as your FML makes you sound, your mother is well shot of him.
Egnar 19
She publicly celebrated with a bikini wax? So what does that entail?. . .Throwing a block party and eating sushi off her stomach in the middle of the road while some strange korean lady applies wax for everybody to watch?
phatdaddy62 23
Yeah, that sounds pretty good!
HomeAl0ne 20
Not a korean lady, Mister Miyagi and a local kid. Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off.