Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML
Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML
Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, my birthday, was going great until my boyfriend received a text from a girl saying he gave her chlamydia. Now I have no boyfriend, but at least I have the chlamydia keeping me company. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML
Today, I received a text from the woman with whom my boyfriend and I recently had a threesome. After years of fantasizing, I finally experienced what it was like to be with another girl. Now we also get to experience what it's like to have gonorrhea. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
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Top comments
mellajella 14
At least it's not an untreatable STD.
CurvyisCool 22
It's the gift that keeps on giving.
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Comments (93)
TheGhettoMonkey 9
If he got gonorrhea and OP doesn't that means he cheated on her
Polynomial 28
Or, he could of had it already, and just found out.
ftloosenfanzfree 7
No it doesn't. She says he's her *new* boyfriend. He probably already had it when they met but didn't know yet.
tdawg91 17
It's usually asymptomatic which means he could have had it for years and never known until recent testing
Masift 21
Your boyfriend should avoid Fred's advice and NOT **** you right in the pussy
WattledParsley 11
Was that supposed to be funny or.....
PraparAnis 19
Seems someone's relationship has gone-awry-ah.
ThuNDeY 23
Slap slap slap... Clap clap clap... Slap slap slap... Clap clap clap...
LostInTheZone11 29
How are you doing Bolbi?
Luvash13 2
Well atleast he called u
Miss_Scarlet 9
Better than herpes!
buckdharma 38
No, no, not std. Ftd op.
thisguy22 33
It's just one more thing you guys have in common op! It'll bring you closer together.
MidnaLink 35
Does anybody check themselves anymore?
cheeeksss 29
I was wondering the same thing. Before sleeping with someone for the first time, don't people check themselves or ask if their partner has been checked?
Colon_Man 17
That'll teach you to use the same toilet as a random boy. That's why courting takes awhile before marriage. To make sure your other doesn't have anything before sexy times.
Setareh23 34
Well sometimes it can be asymptomatic and a person won't know for years that they even have anything, so you could go through the whole courting and marriage thing before even figuring it out (that's why many people get tested before being married, even if they've been "courting" for many years). That or you could get married and then your partner cheats on you and you end up with an STD. My point being, waiting to get married (or waiting a couple of years) before having sex doesn't necessarily mean you'll never end up with an STD. It certainly helps, but it's not a 100% guarantee.