Intimacy, Health and Sex: Ménage à nope

Ménage à nope

By 3somer - 20/08/2017 04:29

Today, I received a text from the woman with whom my boyfriend and I recently had a threesome. After years of fantasizing, I finally experienced what it was like to be with another girl. Now we also get to experience what it's like to have gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 5 097

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Same thing different taste

By ahhh - 03/08/2015 06:06 - United States - Northbrook

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 981

You deserved it 7 356

By Infected - 20/02/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 034

You deserved it 19 913

By Yupppp. - 11/02/2015 06:25 - United States - Flushing

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 338

You deserved it 5 294

By Anonymous - 12/12/2015 02:38

Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 288

You deserved it 2 687

By fd - 16/01/2009 13:36 - United States

Today, my partner and I were informed by the man we had a three-way with, the first one after having finally screwed up the courage to do it, that he has mono. I don't feel so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 543

You deserved it 38 420

Don't shoot the messenger

By Anonymous - 05/07/2020 23:01

Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 2 064

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 11:53 - United States

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 795

You deserved it 7 273

The old dog has learned new tricks

By Anonymous - 08/09/2022 10:00

Today, I had a threesome with my ex and his female friend. He went down on her almost immediately, which he never did in the 14 months that we dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 1 225

By emi - 03/04/2016 17:18 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, the guy I've been seeing asked me to have a threesome. With his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 340

You deserved it 2 756

New horizons

By did I wake up in a porn? - 15/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, out of a desire for revenge, I went over and confronted the girl my boyfriend cheated with. Somehow, we ended up in bed together. Worse, she's amazing. I'm now seriously considering asking if we can be a throuple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 655

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 20 August 2017 5:27

I salute you! You deserve a round of applause for having such an adventure. Or, at least a clap.

DanielleinDC 33

Sunday 20 August 2017 5:04

You should have been tested beforehand. And used protection. Hope this clears up soon.

Comments

alvarny 17

Sunday 20 August 2017 4:44

the experience just got more memorable...

DanielleinDC 33

Sunday 20 August 2017 5:04

You should have been tested beforehand. And used protection. Hope this clears up soon.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 20 August 2017 5:27

I salute you! You deserve a round of applause for having such an adventure. Or, at least a clap.

ChristianH39 30

Thursday 24 August 2017 20:43

Never change.

azouwa 26

Sunday 20 August 2017 6:03

There is a cure for that.

acmariner99 25

Sunday 20 August 2017 7:30

*slow clap*

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 20 August 2017 14:38

The clap has to be quick and firm to get out all of the pus.

Mungolikecandy 19

Sunday 20 August 2017 15:03

Unless you really know the person, safe sex is the only way.

Talented73 54

Sunday 20 August 2017 19:24

YDI. Never have sex with a stranger.... Unless you are "stranger" than they are!

Lee Elliott 4

Monday 21 August 2017 3:09

hell, that's just a shot. least it wasn't something you get to take with you forever.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 1 516

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 144

You deserved it 7 104

The Top

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 918

You deserved it 15 347

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire, so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brother's wedding, and introduced me as "The One" to his entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 876

You deserved it 7 945

Today, my 12 and 14 year olds told me they'll be doing whatever they like from now on and there will be no rules or bedtime, otherwise they'll tell their teachers that my husband and I abuse them. Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 506

You deserved it 3 321

Today, I found out that my old DVD player had stopped reading my DVDs. I had the dumb idea to stick my finger in there to see what the problem was. I found the problem, which was that my fingernail wasn't on my finger after doing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 2 162

Today, I went on a long overdue vacation to France with my husband and young daughter. As revenge for an earlier prank, my sister has apparently taught my daughter to swear profusely in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 947

You deserved it 9 373

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 912

You deserved it 7 845

Ménage à nope

Same thing different taste

Don't shoot the messenger

Thanks, I hate it

The old dog has learned new tricks

New horizons

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