Work: Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework....

By StillPissedOffAtIrony - 06/09/2014 17:25 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 204

You deserved it 3 742

Work

Taking stock

Out of it

Delayed

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 22:15 - United States - Lehi

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 982

You deserved it 3 732

By iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 270

You deserved it 5 384

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 23:14 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 160

You deserved it 17 497

By Embarassed - 24/08/2011 02:44 - United Kingdom

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 088

You deserved it 5 829

By badmom - 27/03/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 107

You deserved it 17 922

By thatguy - 25/06/2011 07:47 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 646

You deserved it 2 974

By LongDriveNoSleep - 24/05/2016 10:38 - United States - Washington

Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 050

You deserved it 1 330

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 689

You deserved it 4 699

By Anonymous - 10/01/2014 02:45 - Sri Lanka

Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 283

You deserved it 3 348

By x - 05/11/2009 20:42 - Canada

Today, I spent 65 dollars in cab fare and skipped half of my grade 12 classes, including a unit test, to see my girlfriend on our two year anniversary. I arrived just in time to see her kiss her other boyfriend of over a year good bye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 651

You deserved it 9 331

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 488

You deserved it 3 827

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 530

You deserved it 4 925

By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 739

You deserved it 9 657

By Rakayla - 29/06/2019 12:03 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, after finally asking my crush for his number, and telling him the reason being he's the only friend whose number I don't have, he laughed, then asked, "Why would I ever be your friend?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 212

You deserved it 218

By melissa1028 - 18/10/2014 02:23 - United States

Today, I sent my fiancé a sexy picture while I was at work. I never got a response from him, so I gave him a call after a while. His 9-year-old son answered. Apparently he was getting a haircut at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 469

You deserved it 10 254

By NikkiiFireStarter - 20/10/2009 10:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my 10 year old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including an £600 guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 037

You deserved it 2 914

High school drama

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 20:00

Today, I went to the mall with friends. I'd ditched other friends in order to go out with these friends. At the table next to me was an ex, and on the top floor were the other friends I'd ditched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 525

By Oops - 25/02/2017 00:00 - Australia - Belmore

Today, my very quiet and sexually innocent boyfriend said, "I want to be inside you." I was so startled that all I could reply was, "Oh, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 665

You deserved it 1 448

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 11:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 578

You deserved it 12 509

It's complicated

By illusia - 05/04/2021 16:58

Today, I was screamed at for not doing the dishes because I was exhausted. Last year, when my arm was broken, I did all my chores without complaint. I don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’d much, much rather work with a broken arm than while tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 131

By Idontdance - 23/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 070

You deserved it 4 442

By Moe - 25/09/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had lost my phone. I drove to the campus to try and find it, and parked in a gated lot where you pay when you leave. All the buildings were closed, so I had to go home. That's when I realized that I didn't have my wallet to get my car out. And no phone to call a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 074

You deserved it 7 630

By Anonymous - 13/02/2014 01:12 - United States - Coraopolis

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 243

You deserved it 7 725

Red Sox Nation

By Anonymous - 25/09/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called saying that she wanted to break up because she wasn't into me anymore. Yesterday, I paid $400 to take her to a Red Sox game, so I asked her why she even came with me. She said that she had been talking to her ex-boyfriend, and he said he was going to that game too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 29/11/2011 18:40 - United States

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 628

You deserved it 5 520

By SomeoneElse - 14/07/2009 13:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 253

You deserved it 3 348

By ugh, why - 22/11/2015 05:12 - Australia

Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 824

You deserved it 2 975

By yessir - 01/12/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 294

You deserved it 28 042

By Anonymous - 06/01/2018 19:00

Today, after having been off due to the holidays, I awoke to several missed calls and texts from my supervisor asking where I was. Fearing losing my job, I drove the entire 2-hour commute thinking I’d missed a day. I hadn't; he was just trying to get my weekly reports early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 822

You deserved it 1 334

By lonely - 05/02/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 530

You deserved it 3 249

By workworkwork - 27/05/2017 20:00

Today, my boss asked me to pick up more waitressing shifts because we are short-staffed. I already work seven days a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 681

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 29/10/2014 08:19 - Australia - Ashburton

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 495

You deserved it 7 305

By Ali - 17/04/2019 02:00

Today, after drinking a half gallon of liquid laxative in preparation for a colonoscopy, I puked the half gallon of laxative. Out my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 147

You deserved it 205

Kittens are everything

By Squanto - 16/08/2021 16:01

Today, I realized that since moving in with my boyfriend and adopting two kittens, I feel more alone than ever. He cuddles the kittens more than me, he doesn’t want to hang out with me at home anymore. Is this normal? FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 136

By honutattoo - 19/12/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 923

You deserved it 3 062

By conchita - 10/02/2010 01:16 - United States

Today, I panicked when I felt a hard bump on the side of my stomach. I thought I had appendicitis. Turns out it was my ab muscles. I've been overweight so long I didn't know what they felt like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 356

You deserved it 27 197

By lynn777 - 04/04/2011 20:42 - Canada

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 218

You deserved it 22 326

By Foosa801 - 25/12/2016 23:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I woke up my friend and had him take me to the ER. I had trouble breathing and my chest hurt, so the doctor put me on an EKG and took X-rays. I had strained my chest lifting weights at the gym earlier that day and pulled a muscle, and now thanks to my massive anxiety I have a $700 hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 285

You deserved it 1 926

By grossgross - 26/09/2009 18:21 - United States

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 484

You deserved it 5 511

By soembarrassed - 02/08/2009 13:40 - Australia

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 399

You deserved it 12 431

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Top comments

people_annoy_me 23

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:20

What great parenting.

notsofriendful 4

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:20

Try telling your teacher that...

people_annoy_me 23

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:20

What great parenting.

AwkwardPartyBear 24

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Sunday 7 September 2014 1:23

I agree. Parents shouldn't always draw conclusions- hopes and dreams would just be shredded up and ripped into pieces. Don't make things sketchier than what they appear.

Miss_Chevious 37

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Sunday 7 September 2014 18:11

Agreed. OP's mother needs a psychiatric for anger management

iAmPaul 49

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Sunday 7 September 2014 19:49

85 - psychiatrist* ;)

kristenanne_iri 19

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Monday 8 September 2014 0:04

#45 that was full of so many great puns

Miss_Chevious 37

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Monday 8 September 2014 10:56

sue me for the spelling error grammar nazi

LyricaSilvan 29

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Thursday 11 February 2016 10:05

@ 85: They were just trying to help. Don't be such a bitch about it.

notsofriendful 4

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:20

Try telling your teacher that...

False_Stupidity 41

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:28

Better yet, her mother should tell the teacher that.

sunnyray812 42

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Sunday 7 September 2014 1:57

It's unlikely a mother like that would confess to her teacher.

JocelynKaulitz 28

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Sunday 7 September 2014 2:12

Maybe a torn up picture that you put back together can look artistic in a way?

Soviet_American 29

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Sunday 7 September 2014 13:48

Mothers always, have to be "right"

RenoTheRhino 30

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:21

My mom ate my homework..

princesspeachxox 18

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Sunday 7 September 2014 5:41

My mum ate my hopes and dreams

Ltsdragons 19

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:21

That must've sucked a lot, that's definitely not the best parenting...

Box0choklitz 8

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:22

I'd like to see her try and justify that.

Onyxdragon 9

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Sunday 7 September 2014 3:26

picture and comment win

Khaleesi_26 30

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:23

Bring the torn picture to your teacher, and ask for an extension. That really sucks though OP, hope everything turns out ok for you! :)

noobienick 19

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:23

Mom logic.

sayyestothedress 24

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Sunday 7 September 2014 13:21

Your profile pic looks like Justin Bieber! Why, just why?

ThepurpleCow 19

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:24

Parents: Ruining Children's lives for the better since 100000 B.C.

Dreamsorrow93 24

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:24

My mom likes to yell at me to do my homework. I'm in college she does not know when I have it. She just wants to yell.

JayBunny 16

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Saturday 6 September 2014 23:57

If you think about it, she most likely wants you to succed

MidnaLink 33

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Sunday 7 September 2014 1:18

Yelling at someone like that doesn't help.

False_Stupidity 41

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Saturday 6 September 2014 22:26

The irony is strong in this one. I hope you explained to your mother what she had just done. I also think she should be the one to explain to your art teacher why your homework was not handed in on time.