Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Today, my mom opens at McDonald's, and I go with her to chill before walking to the bus stop. The lobby was closed. I had to shit so bad, I was knocking on the door, and usually they let me in, but nobody noticed. I had to shit so incredibly bad. so… I went into the car and found an old McDonald's cup and some napkins… FML
Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
You should have finished like a man in front of her. What's even more awkward is that she stared. Incest?
sparklemuffin 8
lol what a win
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Comments (319)
RuCheezBurger 10
How is this an FML? You just got McDonalds.
llamafish 25
That in itself is a reason to post an FML.
10121995 0
Tad creepy, guess she's watched you before.... O.o
laden_swallow09 35
…Vanilla milkshake. Oh, nevermind; I'll make my own.
xxxSANAxxx 0
u shudve said "the female cashier ' ;) haha
strawberrypony 3
Ewwww :(
laden_swallow09 35
It's Thousand Island salad dressing… or it tastes just like it.
beaiguana 4
Make sure you tell her to bring extra napkins and mayonese ;)
pagullarka 9
Well he already has enough sauce all he needs are extra napkins,
rocketiquette 20
If I were his mom, I would've just thrown a bottle of lotion at him, said 'learn to lock your door... have at it', and just gotten him chicken nuggets.
my3rdgenipodtouc 0
Did u say "I already have all I need. Can u just bring me a *wink* milkshake?"
Enslaved 38
She probably didn't want to embarrass you more and just pretended to not have noticed.