Miscellaneous: Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his...

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 00:54 - United States

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 646

You deserved it 3 023

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Same thing different taste

Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 023

You deserved it 6 022

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 992

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 2 141

Make yourself at home

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 143

You deserved it 2 505

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 97 596

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 332

You deserved it 4 014

Looks like we made it… Oh.

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 198

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 3 020

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

chineseguy 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:09

you gotta go when you gotta go!

Darko21 5

Friday 12 November 2010 9:12

Old man 1. Anonymous man 0.

Comments

anorexicbarbie 8

Friday 12 November 2010 9:07

I have a hard time believing this, but if it really did happen, that sucks!

Bcaw 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:11

sorry man, I really had to go

marinus_fml 19

Friday 12 November 2010 9:12

Don't doubt it's validity! You risk getting banned.

chineseguy 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:09

you gotta go when you gotta go!

iSitt 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:30

As you get older, you learn to appreciate the simpler things.

panchod1234 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:51

should have scooped his poop... whatever happened to bieng a good boy

MaximilianMarche 0

Friday 12 November 2010 16:47

topping for your sammich op

Lucidium 0

Friday 12 November 2010 23:33

Today I read an FML of how a guy sat down next to someone eating their lunch, and took a dump. I was eating my breakfast, FML.

johnnyexpl0sion 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 2:30

Man, I hope I'm this awesome when i get older..

mandy_Reeves 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 5:58

did he then steal your sandwich and run?

emo_fail_child 0

Monday 15 November 2010 7:12

where I come from the sidewalk ***** on the old man :)

stuffhappens223 7

Sunday 8 January 2012 12:23

True but eew

marleyvk 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:10

So.....? Be nice and go get him some toilet paper!

marleyvk 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:24

k whah?

marleyvk 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:25

the pic before was of the director quentin tarantino...

Infamous_Hawk 6

Saturday 13 November 2010 6:26

penis

gabsta 3

Saturday 13 November 2010 10:47

hahahahhaa

PurpleAddict 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:11

Did you hurl your lunch out?

daymann 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 8:15

did you word something awkwardly?

Darko21 5

Friday 12 November 2010 9:12

Old man 1. Anonymous man 0.

chelle_starlight 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:12

wow...there has been a lot of these fml posts lately...I guess people don't use restrooms anymore...

marinus_fml 19

Friday 12 November 2010 9:14

And when they do, the try taking 'standing dumps' and shit all over the floor.

chelle_starlight 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:17

^^^ lmao

cdatribe23 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:13

I woulda done the same thing:D jk;)

an_villian 0

Friday 12 November 2010 22:37

do it! no jk

cdatribe23 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 3:58

don't push me guys! I just might!!! lol jk

MrDeconstruct 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:14

Yum, the dookie lunch special.

marinus_fml 19

Friday 12 November 2010 9:17

That has got to be the most used joke on this website.

dynky 3

Friday 12 November 2010 9:17

poor guy. can you imagine what it's like to live on the street with no access to a bathroom?

anorexicbarbie 8

Friday 12 November 2010 9:23

No access to a bathroom? Where do you live? There's public bathrooms almost everywhere...

deven329 1

Monday 15 November 2010 5:22

ppublic bathrooms! the guys probly old and confused

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 530

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 42 710

The Top

Patience is a virtue!

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 397

Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 435

You deserved it 3 166

Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 239

You deserved it 5 381

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 731

You deserved it 9 384

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 082

You deserved it 3 417

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 824

You deserved it 4 867

Same thing different taste

Basic communication

Pick it up

Make yourself at home

Oh shit…

Looks like we made it… Oh.

Take a break

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