Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML
Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, it doesn't mean your mom won't walk into your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
There's nothing like condom talk with your mother.
tanekdrachonae 19
It's ok, I was an accident too. We should be friends.
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Comments (86)
papabear88 6
at least she warned you not to use them
FrankHotpants 31
I thought only sailors used condoms.
frod0 10
At least you're being safe OP! Don't worry :)
KaitlynNeal 13
I want to laugh but... Then I feel so horrible too. Sorry -hugs-
lostangel5 12
Wrap it before.you tap it. At least you're being safe! Cool mom btw, still yls its awkward having your mom check..
Vilsitior_93 12
I would have laughed at her and told her to leave the room while I cried
mameburgess 7
keep your drawers closed. and way too much information from mom.
dawood_k 27
Should tell your mum it's purely for examination purposes. You do your own prostate tests! One finger, 15 second, alright., Thereafter you're just playing with yourself
thepancho 1
your mom is awesome!! stop crying
Bludmagnus 13
That is reason to punch your own mother in the face.