Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML
Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, it doesn't mean your mom won't walk into your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
There's nothing like condom talk with your mother.
tanekdrachonae 19
It's ok, I was an accident too. We should be friends.
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Comments (86)
thatnucca 36
Let's just say you were the fastest out of the lot that escaped OP...
Fernando83 19
You should freak her out and tell her "I'm not sure Durex are any better, I think one of the girls might be pregnant."
Obey_StudBoii 23
lol your mom is awesome
slappygecko 21
To all those who use our competitors' products, Happy Father's Day.
sweetbliss3 37
i don't think she was being ignorant or rude about it. she's probably just glad you're not using a condom brand that has failed her, especially if you're not ready yet for kids.
Josephtg4 9
ouch that sucks so sad
jgriff79 23
No worries with a condom breaking if she sucks!
Josephtg4 9
that sucks
Josephtg4 9
so sad
honeymoonroyale 20
That's f*cked up. Heh...
MiiMiix 6
Haha reminds me of my mum don't worry OP majority of us are mistakes.✋