Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
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Top comments
nerd_fml 0
Does it make anyone else the slightest bit angry that her mom is implying that her ****** is her HUSBAND'S property, and it doesn't matter what she wants - just that her husband enjoys himself?
thequeenofscots 0
Hey, it could have been worse. She could've filled up those remaining ten minutes telling you exactly how much HER husband liked her tight on their wedding night.
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Comments (77)
kitty911 0
I have had sex more than 20 times in the past month and my vag is tight as ever. + you should just get over it, my mom has seen me blow my boyfriend twice. how old are you anyways? cuz most people who are how old I assume you are have had a sex talk from their mom before.
wrestler17 0
38 it's about pleasure for both and I don't think number 18 that it was meant to be that demeaning or that sense, but if it was then that's ****** up sex is about both people and that was pretty stupid to say just do your kegels and don't be having sex/ masturbating every chance you get before that night and you should be fine
wrestler17 0
And 53 how did that happen? Hahaha
Yulia_fml 0
53, stfu. Why would you be advertising that your mom has seen you blowing your bf? You make it sound like it's normal. I'm the one who posted this. I'm 18. I was 16 at that time. I come from a conservative family. Stop being judgmental.
Azurea_fml 0
She's right ya know.
dvs01 0
That's odd, as a lack of sex for so long will make you looser.
rawr_lo 0
53, shut yo mouth. I'm 18 and my mother has never given me the sex talk. And it's pretty sick that you would be glad to tell everyone that your mother saw you blow another guy.
alexomAnexo 0
I bet you liked it O_o
ZacharyorAndrew 0
i completely agree wit ur mom
ZacharyorAndrew 0
rock in 51! same here