Intimacy: Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having...

By Yulia - 09/03/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 205

You deserved it 5 218

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Same thing different taste

Excuses

By sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 475

You deserved it 54 119

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 117

You deserved it 3 191

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 811

You deserved it 37 514

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 067

You deserved it 3 887

By bitchasaurusrex - 15/02/2011 21:24 - Canada

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 485

You deserved it 3 415

White lie

By Sorrymom - 11/08/2017 01:30

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 436

You deserved it 909

Bad start

By Tripp - 14/07/2019 14:00

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 592

ICYMI

By senelbeat - 03/07/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 266

You deserved it 8 563

By Missy - 02/02/2011 18:16 - United States

Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 202

You deserved it 17 252

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 105

nerd_fml 0

Monday 9 March 2009 23:11

Does it make anyone else the slightest bit angry that her mom is implying that her ****** is her HUSBAND'S property, and it doesn't matter what she wants - just that her husband enjoys himself?

thequeenofscots 0

Monday 9 March 2009 20:50

Hey, it could have been worse. She could've filled up those remaining ten minutes telling you exactly how much HER husband liked her tight on their wedding night.

Comments

FlyMeToTheMoon 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 2:40

OMG, that is so embarrassing. I feel sorry for you!

Sassfactory 0

Monday 16 March 2009 6:07

Kegels, sweet pea. Kegels.

Yulia_fml 0

Monday 16 March 2009 7:10

Hey you guys! I wrote this fmylife :) I wasn't even a virgin when my mom told me this. I had to keep my mouth shut even though I knew better, for those 10 minutes =D

effing_a 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 8:17

you couldve jumped off.....

legendbyday 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 15:31

you could have thrown her off

xania_fml 0

Monday 23 March 2009 0:14

what ski lift lasts 10 minutes?

TheOptimist 0

Friday 16 July 2010 23:55

Umm, practically all of them will go 10 minutes or longer when you go to the mountains. Well, depending on the mountain anyway. Some just have a bunch of smaller lifts where you keep getting on and off of them every few minutes until you finally get to the top.

awish 0

Monday 23 March 2009 4:49

ok i agree the reasoning was horrible but come on does no one in this world want to save themself for marriage-- what happened to values and morals-- at this rate it is no wonder people get divorced by the time they get married they have done everything imagine sexually they have no where to go and then realize the whole thing was based on a physical attraction and not an emotional relationship

Yulia_fml 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 9:15

Of course some ski lifts last 10 minutes...

AkeemKN 1

Friday 17 April 2009 2:03

#32, I'm a male virgin myself, and am looking forward to marrying a virgin. You say NOBODY wants a virgin. Your DEAD WRONG. There's thousands of other people out there that believe the same thing I do as well.

eliz3 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 20:45

51, I don't think that nobody wants a virgin. However, sex in a relationship is important and I think that it's probably a good idea to realise whether you are sexually compatable with your partner or not BEFORE you're stuck in a sexless marriage.