Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
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Top comments
nerd_fml 0
Does it make anyone else the slightest bit angry that her mom is implying that her ****** is her HUSBAND'S property, and it doesn't matter what she wants - just that her husband enjoys himself?
thequeenofscots 0
Hey, it could have been worse. She could've filled up those remaining ten minutes telling you exactly how much HER husband liked her tight on their wedding night.
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Comments (77)
FlyMeToTheMoon 0
OMG, that is so embarrassing. I feel sorry for you!
Sassfactory 0
Kegels, sweet pea. Kegels.
Yulia_fml 0
Hey you guys! I wrote this fmylife :) I wasn't even a virgin when my mom told me this. I had to keep my mouth shut even though I knew better, for those 10 minutes =D
effing_a 0
you couldve jumped off.....
legendbyday 0
you could have thrown her off
xania_fml 0
what ski lift lasts 10 minutes?
TheOptimist 0
Umm, practically all of them will go 10 minutes or longer when you go to the mountains. Well, depending on the mountain anyway. Some just have a bunch of smaller lifts where you keep getting on and off of them every few minutes until you finally get to the top.
awish 0
ok i agree the reasoning was horrible but come on does no one in this world want to save themself for marriage-- what happened to values and morals-- at this rate it is no wonder people get divorced by the time they get married they have done everything imagine sexually they have no where to go and then realize the whole thing was based on a physical attraction and not an emotional relationship
Yulia_fml 0
Of course some ski lifts last 10 minutes...
AkeemKN 1
#32, I'm a male virgin myself, and am looking forward to marrying a virgin. You say NOBODY wants a virgin. Your DEAD WRONG. There's thousands of other people out there that believe the same thing I do as well.
eliz3 0
51, I don't think that nobody wants a virgin. However, sex in a relationship is important and I think that it's probably a good idea to realise whether you are sexually compatable with your partner or not BEFORE you're stuck in a sexless marriage.