Ohai
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Noname
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML
butnotlikethat
Nanchang, China 🌶️ Spicy
Stop talking
Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste." Gag me. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Janitoro
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Double-edged sword
Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
Anonymous
Newberry, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
ReallyMom
Shawano, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML
PlayTag
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
John Coltrane
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
In training
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Top comments
Timmytwofinger 0
what the **** is wrong with your mum?
ModernDreamer 0
man that sucks.... or should i say blows?
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Comments (74)
sovietkiwi 0
true . . .
BloodyMary666 24
So, could u give her advice? (But seriously, that is wrong in every possible way. I mean, she´s ur damn mother! O.o)
irritatedone 5
Well you know mothers know who the gay ones are in the litter.
MoutainDrewski 0
well it's better to ask a guy cause we know what turns us on, girls don't know how we feel
saminah 0
guys know what they want
Donniehw 5
Tell her how you like it... Then say just don't do it while your there, in your room, by or on any of your stuff, and don't talk about it... Then play an amazing song by fall out boy (mine is "alpha dog") and walk her out of your room and tell her to never ask you a question like that again and shut the hard but don't slam it.... Then spend all day in your room listening to your music up all the way and doing whatever it is you do in your "free time"....
HEATNATION 10
Maybe she figured you'd had enough BJ's you'd know how a good one felt therefore giving her a hint on what to do
mickeyymousee 3
My momdid the same
cupcakeb15 9
Does anyone know how to follow someones comments? I'm new to FML, so i would like some help. Thanks!
JaiBrooks5 13
She's taking advice from a man!