Miscellaneous: Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it... - FML

By stellarshaun - 16/01/2009 22:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 272

You deserved it 10 904

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 210

You deserved it 37 102

By Hard in flip flops - 21/01/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 910

You deserved it 4 747

Knock first

By jesus christ, dad - 06/09/2013 16:48 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Spicy

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 918

You deserved it 7 074

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Spicy

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 178

You deserved it 1 278

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 35 396

Happy place

By HansonLUVR - 12/03/2009 00:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 249

You deserved it 79 270

By Eminnis - 31/08/2015 03:27 - United States - Woodland Park

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock next time. I'd agree with him, if he hadn't been standing in the middle of the hallway in our very open living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 326

You deserved it 1 698

Go home

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 10:00

Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 93

Whatcha been up to?

By Just another Dude - 02/10/2017 13:00

Today, I spilled vanilla yogurt on my pants while eating breakfast, but I forgot to clean it up. It left a very conspicuous white stain on my pants, that was there the entire day. I only noticed it when I looked in the mirror after getting home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 961

You deserved it 974

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 141

You deserved it 559

Next

Top comments

alpuppy 0

Tuesday 3 February 2009 13:34

It could've been worse, you could have been wiped it off with your finger and put it in your mouth as he walked in.

Haelous 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 15:41

In the future, do not have your schwarz out while eating yogurt.

Comments

alpuppy 0

Tuesday 3 February 2009 13:34

It could've been worse, you could have been wiped it off with your finger and put it in your mouth as he walked in.

rwac07 0

Friday 26 March 2010 12:30

WTF wat were u doin naked if ur parents are around the house? and don't u have any covers?

wintamint101 7

Wednesday 9 June 2010 3:40

ya but that would've been worse...lying in bed naked sticking a finger in your mouth...im sorry but it doedn't seem any better

ronton 4

Friday 11 June 2010 4:13

he was caught wanking and this is just a lame cover up lol

AbnormalAshley 0

Tuesday 22 June 2010 15:10

LOLOLOL This must be fake.

MrNewOrleans 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 4:00

hey I've eating plenty things naked... it's fun it feels the best when u go to a restaurant and everyone stares at you :)

crazykidd15 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 18:59

Lolololol

mkcempa 0

Monday 10 January 2011 18:27

win!

thethingthatshou 4

Saturday 18 June 2011 19:21

you lost you fuckhead..... ****** mother ******

RageWolf16 31

Saturday 22 March 2014 23:30

I walk around my room naked all the time

Boomi 38

Sunday 11 September 2016 9:01

Oh god, that's so true!

Haelous 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 15:41

In the future, do not have your schwarz out while eating yogurt.

ekdfml 20

Tuesday 23 November 2010 19:01

great movie reference

thisguyintheusa 11

Friday 25 April 2014 4:39

Eyyyy 59 got it !!!

samisalsa 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 6:38

Nice excuse.

pinkfrenchrose 5

Monday 16 March 2009 1:53

Yeah, EVERYONE eats yogurt naked. *Sarcasm* LMAO, dumb ass.

heheirock 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 6:28

why did not you have a blanket over your self?

Jezlovespink 5

Tuesday 20 March 2012 22:58

Bcuz then it wud b pointless to b naked!!!

lilymoose 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 8:07

this is just silly. i don't think it's real. why in the world would you be eating yogurt naked?

iceicebaby24 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 23:56

dude. why WOULDN'T you eat yogurt naked! better yet, why would you eat yogurt with clothes on? insanity!

monkeys488 0

Friday 20 March 2009 21:30

thats a fake story

giffinator 0

Friday 3 April 2009 7:26

your dad actually said "I'm sorry for walking on you masturbating"?

xiaoxaio 5

Tuesday 6 December 2011 7:47

no he said " can i join you"?

uhhSavage 22

Thursday 16 May 2013 13:58

Back to back?

MizzHollywood 0

Friday 3 April 2009 21:46

Eating yogurt in bed is the real FML here. Who does that!??!?!

Nottooeffed 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 8:15

I like to feel a nice breeze around my privates while enjoying tasty snack food

alexxss_fml 10

Monday 7 June 2010 5:11

lmfaoooo!!!! good one!!! XD

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 144

You deserved it 7 104

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, my husband and I ran into his high school girlfriend at the mall. We were catching up and my husband told her that we have a daughter. She asked what our daughter's name, but my husband hesitated and tried to change the subject, so I told her it was Juniper. That was her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 137

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 029

You deserved it 40 563

Today, my dad drove me to work which is an hour away. Twenty minutes into the job, I was told, "Didn't we tell you last week? We let you go." Clearly, no, they didn't. I had to wait one awkward hour, with my colleagues who knew I was fired before I did, for my dad to collect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 453

You deserved it 2 420

Today, while practicing my gymnastics routine on the uneven bars, I was so distracted by my teammates' conversation about a party later that I miscalculated my flip and smacked my head on a bar. Ten stitches and a concussion later, I was left alone in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 653

You deserved it 15 639

Today, my switch to night shifts has coincided nicely with my neighbour buying her twin juvenile delinquent crotch goblins a drum set and a guitar. Now during the daylight hours, when I’m supposed to be asleep, all I can hear is their racket on the other side of the wall, mere feet from my head FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 125

Today, my husband had the cheek to ask me, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and “I have no clean slacks for tomorrow can you wash me some?” no more than 10 minutes after he told me he wants us to see other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 140