Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told...

By Noname - 25/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 763

You deserved it 4 184

Sex Awkward Intimacy

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Same thing different taste

By Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 550

You deserved it 3 068

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 805

You deserved it 37 500

By Mak1 - 05/12/2008 08:12 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 704

You deserved it 4 684

By lisahb - 19/06/2012 22:16 - United States - Detroit

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 462

You deserved it 3 309

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 164

You deserved it 3 642

You sure this is the right time?

By KidCudi227 - 19/07/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 823

You deserved it 3 392

You what?

By charliesangel123 - 21/02/2010 17:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 446

You deserved it 3 702

Realistic

By IBleedArbor - 16/02/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 279

You deserved it 5 023

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 148

You deserved it 558

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 664

You deserved it 5 199

burdenofaday 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 17:10

Haha. Your mom likes buttsex.

Sciamachy 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 13:33

Wow... so your mom is into aural & nasal sex too?!

Comments

jihinotenshi_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 12:29

duh

Tri_fml 5

Wednesday 25 February 2009 12:47

http://www.fmylife.com/sex/7619 ^This would never have happened if the poster had a mum like yours to advise her XD

Sciamachy 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 13:33

Wow... so your mom is into aural & nasal sex too?!

Fyrepower 23

Saturday 22 August 2015 18:30

*Oral. (Sorry, had to)

Talis99 26

Friday 28 August 2015 0:13

@fyrepower #100---Actually aural is correct--it's ear sex. Like auditory, aural is of the ear or the hearing sense.

3lended7wice 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 14:44

the advice is great! the image of my mom doing anal is not. FML

Will9_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 14:55

douche chill

PhoenixLE 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 15:12

She tells it like it is.

KenMcGormick 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 16:00

whoa ur mum is great... how i hope all mums in the world are like your mum... so submissive

burdenofaday 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 17:10

Haha. Your mom likes buttsex.

alwaysalady 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 17:37

My mother told me, "listen to your parents' advice, but make your own educated choices."

Joy_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 19:33

#29, rock on sister! LMAO!!

Keywords

Work Intimacy Revenge Awkward Therapist Weird Love Relatable Harassment Coffee Skincare Health Embarrassing Argument Kids Parents Anger issues Mental health Family Miscellaneous Sex Confused My ex Cheating Facebook Social Media Babies Parenting Nice Guys Creepypasta

The Top

Today, my beyond spoiled stepdaughter threw a massive fit, swearing she was going to sue her employer for discrimination after firing her. Her dumbass believed she could take her dog to work with her, and the company couldn’t legally ask if it was a service animal or not. She worked at McDonald’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 138

Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 879

You deserved it 4 311

The Top

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 009

You deserved it 3 915

Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 797

You deserved it 1 266

Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 219

You deserved it 3 811

Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 448

You deserved it 4 652

Today, one of my friends thought it would be funny to tell my psycho clinger of an ex that I still like her. It had only been a few months since she finally stopped stalking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 945

You deserved it 1 659

Today, I was showing the Instagram of my crush to my cousin. He double-tapped the picture, thinking it would zoom it in. It was posted 5 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 618

You deserved it 1 528