By Tey - 22/12/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 873
You deserved it 17 827

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Top comments

Dang, what did you do? Flash your ass on the TV screens via a video camera? Or was that me? Hm...

desireev 17

That is just terrible OP! Keep trying and you'll find a good, long-lasting job that you will love! Just remember.. Good things come to those who wait.. Merry Christmas! :)


What did OP do to get fired so quickly?

hellbilly205 17

Well that blows

Classic case of overexcitement once you find out you can photocopy your butt.

Get a better job or work harder.

That's horrible :( what did you do!?

Maybe this is a YDI, there's not enough information, but you'd have to do something pretty severe to get fired in less than an hour.

No way. Really?

cranky_pants 8

Being fired that soon into a new job happens surprisingly often, and it's not always the case of someone doing something completely egregious. I've heard of many instances, and I've had to do it myself three times, two of which were clear (IMHO) YDIs, although one was debatable: The first was because it was discovered that the person had lied on his resume. (Inflated job title and responsibilities at a previous job, and a fabricated job to cover a period of unemployment. Discovered by the HR rep who signed him in, as she and him ended up having a shared work history. The world is smaller than most people think.) He lasted about one hour. Another time it happened because the person was a disrespectful pain in the ass, and I have a low tolerance for high-maintenance wankers. Seriously, this guy was totally sweet in the interview process, but unbelievable once he was in the office. He lasted until 3pm, and the team applauded when he was escorted out by security. The third was a tougher call, and one of those dodgy situations that I hate, having to reconcile human decency with the long-term good of the team: after the person had accepted my job offer, I received a resume from a rock-star candidate with an internal referral. I could only afford one of them, so when the person on his first day showed that he wasn't as strong as we had hoped, I let him go at the end of the day (with one month's severance), in order to land the rock star. And these incidents are pretty mundane. If you want a bottomless supply of crazy-weird workplace stories, befriend your local HR rep. They live in the nexus of office weirdness.

Very informative ;)

Sitting on the copy machine naked doesn't fly these days.

Unless I'm your boss. You have to send a few copies my way though.

I once got fired upon showing up for my second day. OP wins this battle.

mlw63 0

That sucks bro.

Dang, what did you do? Flash your ass on the TV screens via a video camera? Or was that me? Hm...

Did you get fired because you asked what 2's profile pic says?

U probably did something to deserve it. YDI

OP: hello Mr. DumbAss! It's such a pleasure to work for DumbAss and DumbAss Associates! I'm sure I'll fit I'm great with the DumbAss family!! New boss: the name is DUMAS. OP: I'll pack my things up now...

Oh wow 58 so creative

What you may have done implies that there will, in fact, be buttsecs.

Namerkp2 8

Congratulations on your new job mr.- HOLY SHIT STOP FUCKING THE PRINTER!... you're fired.

Your profile pic made me laugh.

Horcruxer 0

And u have 0/9 fmls posted hahaha

Nolnah 14

huzzah! wait what?

desireev 17

That is just terrible OP! Keep trying and you'll find a good, long-lasting job that you will love! Just remember.. Good things come to those who wait.. Merry Christmas! :)

But mostly just the lucky and the wealthy.

....and the smart and hardworking.

chenry1 4

No shes right. You gotta go to college most of the time but there's still enough places that hire without it and turn it into a career that you'll like.

MaaaanWTF 1

This has to be the best comment you have ever posted! Congrats and Merry Christmas!

this coment is crap in this world noone cares for you you can't get a job afterall who wants a 17 year old working for ya but one day you will hate yourself so much and everything around you you will loose the will to live .. I'm one of the lucky ones who managed to live but however bad things get NEVER try to kill yourself it's a dumb way out all you can do is find something to hold on to till this world (god forbid) gets any better but never try to shugar coat it thes world is crap I just wat ppl to know what the real world is like

flipfloperson 5

55 - Try some punctuation next time?

try go fu(k yourself

60, no, we did not mean to place a bracket in the middle of a word.

diidiimi 10

Hey moderators - we've got a potential spammer here!!

That is one chearfull comment:)

desireev 17

Thanks guys!! Merry Christmas to all of you as well! ;)

Aww aren't you Just the cutest. Merry Christmas!

Nice. Howitzer.

Either that is the most strict job. Ever. Or you suck. Or the boss sucks.

Kingdutch 3

Or he didn't suck the boss? Meh..

You one of those people who start a sentence with "either...." and end it with a thousand possibilities?

Ozone1232 5

Where does everyone get these funny comments from?!? Gah!

TorturedXeno 27

How'd you manage that?

Have to say, I give him props. In just 45 minutes, can't even do that intentionally. Most stuff, you'd expect they'd let slide on his first day. So yeah, definitely YDI

What did u do?! Getting your ass printed on a copy machine is not going to benefit u >.< . . .I actually want to make this a goal now.

Would you like a hug? They're free!

Something tells me you drive a rape-van.

Also known as the MolestationMobile.

Ozone1232 5

Hmmm. Sounds legit.

baaaaah... i see the pun there... free... cuz he doesnt have a job....

That wasn't a pun

Larion1 12

you probably deserved it pity yourself

Slept with the boss that fast? geeze.

Why would they get fired for that?