Intimacy: Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

By fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 226

You deserved it 8 021

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Same thing different taste

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 643

You deserved it 6 211

Kinky

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 22:00

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 527

Taste test

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 12:28 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 629

You deserved it 6 600

By pipers - 02/05/2019 10:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, I spent several hundred dollars having our pipes and septic system fixed. Tonight, I watched my husband pour about a half-liter of bacon grease into the sink. Better keep the septic guy on speed dial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 081

You deserved it 272

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 6 511

Sexy talk

By hamburger - 06/07/2013 21:21 - United States - Adrian

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 293

You deserved it 8 498

By ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 249

You deserved it 5 686

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 417

You deserved it 54 829

By whatdidimarry - 24/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 267

You deserved it 2 296

And they say romance is dead…

By BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 7 724

vampgirl999 8

Sunday 23 August 2015 6:22

This would be a good time to stop having kitchen sex. Or never start.

JustBecausePie 12

Sunday 23 August 2015 6:21

Hey you can't hate it till you try it.

Comments

LibertyLife20 20

Sunday 23 August 2015 7:30

The ****?

DoomSkuller 28

Sunday 23 August 2015 7:41

He definitely took that from Evil Apples...

ZoePapillon 16

Sunday 23 August 2015 7:57

I've done this, its ok but its no Astroglide

WOTAN1488 24

Sunday 23 August 2015 8:01

Nasty

limegreenpoopie 31

Sunday 23 August 2015 8:07

Is your husband Macgyver?

jkp1291 25

Sunday 23 August 2015 8:54

Why are so many people saying OP deserves it, like damn let me shove some bacon grease up your ****** and see if you complain.

Turtle_Man 21

Sunday 23 August 2015 9:00

That sounds like a pimply dick

conman531 23

Sunday 23 August 2015 9:00

at the time I read this, many people say she deserves it while a third the amount just say FYL. How the hell does she deserve it?

sparkledoge 29

Sunday 23 August 2015 11:09

Maybe they think they deserve some bacon for being so creative.

chaseafterwind82 29

Sunday 23 August 2015 9:01

Well, do that and it shouldn't be a problem getting him to go down on you. :-)

msmedieval 11

Sunday 23 August 2015 9:14

Was it said out of laziness or love of bacon? Because there is bacon flavored lube out there if he's *that* into it to risk infections.

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