Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like sex. He said, "Funny, I didn't feel like driving to the store for your milkshake earlier, or digging up the flowerbed, or deep cleaning your car, but I did all that to make you happy. Don't I deserve a little reciprocation?" Jesus Christ, I married an asshole. FML
Today, my husband yet again procrastinated on a project for so long, that he now has to work during the weekend. When I asked whether or not we could still spend some free time together, he started ranting about how I ruin his career. He seriously thinks it's about us and not his horrible planning skills. FML
Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML
Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML
Today, my husband called and said he couldn’t make it home tonight from a party, because his car's battery had died and his friends didn’t have any jumper cables. When I offered to pick him up, he adamantly declined. I offered an Uber. Again, declined, and he got pissed, saying, “Stop worrying so much!” and hung up on me. FML
Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML
Today, my partner got mad at me for forgetting to turn off the bedroom light when coming back from brushing my teeth, and has chosen to sleep in our spare bedroom over it. FML
Today, I was trying to put my kids to bed but my husband kept riling them up with yelling, wrestling, etc. By the time we actually got them to bed I was exhausted. His ass had the nerve to throw a fit because I was too tired for sex. Why does he think I was trying to get them to sleep?! FML
Today, was my first day off in almost a month. My husband and I spent all morning arguing, then he left to his job saying he wouldn't be back tonight. Apparently I'm being neglectful because I don't have the energy for sex after being the only one working full time, cooking, cleaning, and running errands. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rg350dx 29
Guess he'd rather work on his hotrod than get hot with his rod
EpicSquishii 21
43- Lighten the **** up, you stupid penguin.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
RedPillSucks 33
#1, I don't do standard. it's automatic that when my wife wants sex, I give her sex
SWC_Penguin 17
#41 - Puns are a tool. You can use them to make whatever point you want. He chose to used the puns to criticize the OP. I disagree with that usage. You don't get immunity from replies just because you make your point in a funny way.
happylawyer 16
Aparently, a man that is more interested in building a custom car.
thehowiie 6
a surprise ******** should win him over
King_paradox 22
UnleSs he continues his plan to the finish
EpicSquishii 21
43- Lighten the **** up, you stupid penguin.
kriz_allizwell 6
Mild Sarcasm detected.
buddy51 23
OP, your husband seems to feel there's a connection between his bodily fluids and his brain. Another example of the testicular dick-brain trumping the teeny walnut sized one inside his head.
NagainaFier 16
What are you talking about? ...try again buddy :/ I believe in you!
AngrySailor 17
Nothing better than a BJ while half underneath a sweet muscle car on a mechanics creeper. Make the best of the situation princess. At least you know where he is, in the garage and not out *****'n it up.
love_me_electric 20
Why do men assume that when a woman is horny she wants a dick in her mouth? giving ******** doesn't get most women off, so how would that help OP's situation?
AngrySailor 17
I think it's called "foreplay". Could be wrong though, wouldn't be the first time.
dead_insects 18
it turns me on #64...
kyu_Q 19
Most women dont initiate sex often. So when they do why deny them? Plus unless OP's husband is getting on in years it should not take too much energy to turn a wrench.
icepick23 12
You should work on your techniques.