By marcranger - 13/12/2016 02:20 - United States - Silverthorne

Today, I stopped to get gas on my way to work. It snowed over the weekend, so there was mud everywhere. When I tried to jump over a giant puddle by my door on my way back into the car, I went too high, bruised my shoulder on the doorframe, and rebounded ass-first into the puddle. FML
I agree, your life sucks 7 284
You deserved it 1 932

marcranger tells us more.

OP here. The only additional points I haven't covered in my responses are: 1. I have a high-clearance SUV and low athletic ability. Since I managed to jump high enough to hit the top of the doorframe, I was pretty impressed with myself once I cleaned up! 2. This is my third published FML. 2 out of 3 have taken place at gas stations. This is clearly a sign that I need to sell my car and move to...uh...somewhere that doesn't have cars or something.

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Top comments

You know, the memo was to not let the door hit you on the way out...

mermaidkeels 26

Puddle: 1 You: 0. Make sure you let that puddle know you're not one to mess with for the next encounter.

Comments

Sounds like something I would do! Sorry OP!!

It doesn't matter how much you try, a puddle will never be denied.

That would have gotten mad views on YouTube... too bad no one was recording

Too bad my (muddy) ass!

You know, the memo was to not let the door hit you on the way out...

The memo said nothing about the way in, though.

mermaidkeels 26

Puddle: 1 You: 0. Make sure you let that puddle know you're not one to mess with for the next encounter.

That's a good story to tell your coworkers in order to cover up the big brown spot on the back of your pants OP. Hopefully they all believed it!

I was wearing black pants...wouldn't have covered the smell, however. Luckily, I was able to call in and make sure I had someone covering me for long enough that I could go home and change. Even more luckily, the gas station cashiers felt sorry enough for me (or were appreciative enough of the laugh I gave them) that they donated some rags I could use to protect the seat from the sludge.

I see you watch Peppa Pig too...

I do not, but I gather I may have to sue the writers for copyright infringement of my life?

Sounds like you jumped into the car the wrong way. you only have so much space to enter so if you must jump in, pretend you are a dog and the door frame is a flaming hula hoop. or a rocket going towards a target. Otherwise, 11 out of 10 times, you will fail miserably and bystanders will laugh at you. you would deserve the laughing if there was any, however I don't think you deserve a muddy bum or bruised shoulder. In pretty sure everyone as attempted leaping into a car at least once. And, as such, failing to succeed at least once. trial and error OP, trial and error!

¯_(ツ)_/¯

they make boots for just this situation. Boots allow a person to not hit the doorframe with your shoulder while avoiding butt plants in puddles. If water, mud is higher than boots call in stranded

Boots still track mud into the car. Nasty-smelling, mud in this case.

That comma should've been after "mud," not "smelling." Don't type and not do caffeine, kids.