Help!

By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 11:25 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 886
You deserved it 6 400

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I can't help but feel bad for OP's wife too. The poor woman must be full of hormones and is probably on an emotional rollercoaster right now.

I sympathize with her: dogs that bark for hours on end are incredibly annoying and frustrating. But think of it this way: if your wife had not called you, eventually your neighbours would have.

Comments

Damn dogs, they're planning everyone's death along with cats!

I only agree to this statement because I HATE dogs that never stop barking!

Chihuahuas.... Straight from hell to annoy us

What an emergency.......

from what i understand of pregnancy, the hormones often throw your perspective out of whack so it would have seemed more urgent to OP's wife. also, dogs barking constantly is one of the most annoying noises ever

She might've been sleep deprived because of it too. Pregnancy is exhausting.

As a male, I've never been pregnant but i can imagine that to her, in that moment, it truly was an emergency...dont blame her for this. Without enough info, im left to speculate. Maybe the dogs were hungry or needed to be let out. Obviously OP is a good guy to go rushing home, but if they dont even own dogs, i can see the frustration. OP, it is what it is...a pregnancy, just be supportive and you two will enjoy a happy life with your wife and child/children.

Beastity killed the dog.. And the cat

And the dog might get pregnant too, and where would he be then?

give the dog a bone

This old man came rolling home :D

Bitches be crazy...

The wife is female, they have dogs. Trying to make a joke... Thanks buzz killington.

Do you know why W.S. Gilbert was frequently drunk on his trans-Atlantic crossings?.. Because he was quartered on the PORT side. *snobby chuckles*

The wife wasn't the topic of the fml..

#70, yes it was about his wife, it says it in the first sentence, "my pregnant wife" learn to read.

@20 Learn to take a joke. |:

It wasn't that good of a joke to me. Sorry.

Olpally, your profile is quite accurate it looks like. Could easily be summarized to 'single digit IQ'."Usually my comments get thumbed down or thumbed up based on the comment"...Thats brilliant.

rape her and kill the baby

I sympathize with her: dogs that bark for hours on end are incredibly annoying and frustrating. But think of it this way: if your wife had not called you, eventually your neighbours would have.

No one wants to put up with that, especially if you're pregnant

As annoying as that may be, it is 100% the owner's fault for yappy dogs. So, at least one of the two is at fault for not training those dogs.

#69 I trained my dogs, they still bark. It gets annoying but they are god damn dogs, it's not like they go "hey let's go fuck with our owners mental stability"

#69 it isn't the owners fault actually. Well, not all the time. My dog barks at absolutely everything, we've had trainers, kept her inside, had bark collars (the ones that spray a jet of water on their face) And we've even had to have her voice box removed twice because it was either that, or the council would seize her and she STILL barks (coughs since she has no voice). I don't see how that's our fault.

114 - How does one remove a dog's voice box twice?

maybe another voice box popped out of nowhere

Um dogs will bark if they want... It's not really the owners fault..

Hello I’m a dog trainer! It absolutely can be stopped, it’s all about consistency. “Jet spraying” bark collars are incredibly inhumane and spray a smelly mix into the face, you’d have been better off using ANY other type of bark collar. How did you remove the voice box twice?? I like this stream of owners who cannot control their dogs, it gives me something to laugh at. Try a speak and shush command so you CAN control when it’s appropriate to bark.

Well when they bark too much it DOES become a pain... but still, not an emergency so FYL but FHL too

I can't help but feel bad for OP's wife too. The poor woman must be full of hormones and is probably on an emotional rollercoaster right now.

We need a new amusement park ride to compare journeys to. Personally, my life is closer to an emotional waterslide. Lots of twists and turns, maybe a few bumps up, but you'll always end up going back down even further.

Mine is like a theme park wave pool. You float up and down for a long time and then it hits you... everything is just filled with piss.

My life is like a water slide too, but its because I always go down and end up wet ;)

My life is like a tilt-a-whirl: I like it rough, my hair's always a mess afterwards, and boy am I a screamer xD Jk

actually my life's more like a ferris wheel: boring and uneventful (I meant to include this in my last comnent but unfortunately I was in a rush as I was getting an infected surgical incision checked out while typing my last post.)

My life would be like one of those coal mountain rides, you know the ones; most of the time you're in the dark and jostled about endlessly, when you do get something to see you we're better off in the dark and when it's over you're left wondering why the fuck its in a place called an "amusement" park

My life is like a parallel line because nobody touches me ever.

I'm sorry but If your wife that is currently in Carrying your child Especially in tears you should handle even the slightest requests with out whining on the Internet about it...

And why would he handle the slightest requests? She should handle her frekaing hormones. He should be helpful and supportive, but he doesn't need to serve her like she's royalty. People get knocked up every day, it's not a miracle. Do you think that your grandmothers had their every request handled just because they were pregnant? Nope. And yet there you are. So clearly , there's no need for handling every request. Only what really needs to be done.

It is quite a miracle to some. Especially if they've been trying for quite a while.

Yes, and my grandmother was also of the generation that smoked and drank all the way through pregnancy, should I behave that way too? These days it's more understood that emotional health is significantly important during pregnancy. While I agree this might not have been an emergency pager situation, pregnant bitches are crazy. As the mother of two kids I can verify this fact! With hindsight she will probably be mortified and it'll become a funny family tale.

#52- fuck off you illiterate douch. It is a miracle, she's carrying a human being inside of her. Uhm the miracle of life dumbass. And lol why don't you ask your mom if she could "handle" her emotions/ hormones during her pregnancy with you. You try being a women and carrying a living being inside you for 9 fucking months. Pregnancy hormones cant just be "handled" they just happen and there's nothing the woman can do about it. Honeslty fuck off and burn. You obviously don't respect the fact that women are naturally stronger than men, you try popping out a baby from your vagina. People like you Make me sick.

Wow 52, someone is bitter.

no, 127, just no no NO

Just because there's a human being in her doesn't make it a "miracle", that is subjective.