Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like sex. He said, "Funny, I didn't feel like driving to the store for your milkshake earlier, or digging up the flowerbed, or deep cleaning your car, but I did all that to make you happy. Don't I deserve a little reciprocation?" Jesus Christ, I married an asshole. FML
Today, my husband yet again procrastinated on a project for so long, that he now has to work during the weekend. When I asked whether or not we could still spend some free time together, he started ranting about how I ruin his career. He seriously thinks it's about us and not his horrible planning skills. FML
Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML
Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML
Today, my husband called and said he couldn’t make it home tonight from a party, because his car's battery had died and his friends didn’t have any jumper cables. When I offered to pick him up, he adamantly declined. I offered an Uber. Again, declined, and he got pissed, saying, “Stop worrying so much!” and hung up on me. FML
Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML
Today, my partner got mad at me for forgetting to turn off the bedroom light when coming back from brushing my teeth, and has chosen to sleep in our spare bedroom over it. FML
Today, I was trying to put my kids to bed but my husband kept riling them up with yelling, wrestling, etc. By the time we actually got them to bed I was exhausted. His ass had the nerve to throw a fit because I was too tired for sex. Why does he think I was trying to get them to sleep?! FML
Today, was my first day off in almost a month. My husband and I spent all morning arguing, then he left to his job saying he wouldn't be back tonight. Apparently I'm being neglectful because I don't have the energy for sex after being the only one working full time, cooking, cleaning, and running errands. FML
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Top comments
rg350dx 29
Guess he'd rather work on his hotrod than get hot with his rod
EpicSquishii 21
43- Lighten the **** up, you stupid penguin.
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Comments (112)
RedPillSucks 33
He's in love with his car. Gotta feel for his automobile. Tell him to get a grip on your racer rollbar. It'll be a thrill when your radials squeal.
Tim2415 16
Wish I could of seen the look on your face when he said that... Ha!
jokinghazard 3
Car penis innuendo joke
NagainaFier 16
Perhaps you're a distraction in the good sense? (Ie if he starts with you, he'll never be able to pull away long enough to work on his car?)
rg350dx 29
Idk what 29 drives but my car doesn't have genitals..
Pstraka6 20
Help him with his car! That'll get his engine revving!!!
MooseKnuckle5150 13
What kind of car?
happylawyer 16
Being a distraction is not that bad. Indiference would be a real problem.
SWC_Penguin 17
#1, you seem to have interpreted the OP as saying she demanded sex at a particular moment. Cars take months (or even years) to build and thus your reply is overly harsh to her. Her expecting sex sometime within a YEAR is not unreasonable.
DocBastard 40
Penguin, you seem to have missed the stream of puns that #1 delivered. Reread it.