Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
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Top comments
SirCharles83 13
Is there any one left out there who isn't a scum bag? What ever happened to having values?
Freethaawave 19
OP is psychic.
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Comments (144)
OMJizzzle 2
That really sucks..sorry op
sammyjanette 17
You know what the nastiest part of this is. Your husband had unprotected sex with someone, and then probably kept having sex with you. He showed a complete lack of regard for your safety and well-being. Leave him, please.
CharresBarkrey 15
While I agree, I have to point out that he could have worn a condom. Condoms don't always prevent pregnancies.
sammyjanette 17
He could have gotten HIV or something. The OP can walk away from a baby, but she can't walk away from HIV. That's what I was trying to say.
iedsrduan 18
What about HPV? He could've given OP HPV, which can't be avoided by the use of a condom.
EUPHORlA 12
I'm sorry that you married a shit-for-brains guy. My friend's dad did the same thing, except that he kept it a secret for a year and a half. I hope that you'll find someone who doesn't act like a tempted 8 year old...
Llamacod 11
Your friends dad knocked up a cute work colleague too? How did he keep your friends sibling on the down low for such a long time?
EUPHORlA 12
Well first, their family was pretty much damaged before that so they weren't that close. The mom is pretty clueless and is going through a lot of stress so it took her longer to figure it out. I don't know how he managed to hide his little girlfriend and the baby though.
sassy2085 16
I am sure you had thought it possible and known in your heart he was cheating because you wouldn't of said anything joking or not.
ileenefudge 29
Kill him....kill him with fire...seriously there is no excuse for cheating. Divorce his ass and take half his things.
Ameel_fml 19
#20 But if someone is stuck in an abusive relationship, then how is going behind the abuser's back to cheat on them a good idea? That just ends in more abuse.
amifaiyaz 12
Your username is all that needs to be said on the topic. Scumbag.
Llamacod 11
I don't know, I kind of like "trapted" better; it has that ... Uh... Moronic ring to it.
Llamacod 11
That just might explain his sentence structure.
surfergirl72 7
I'm so sorry. Did you have kids or can you make a clean get away? In some states, any child born in a marriage, yes, even a bastard baby, is a product of the marriage. You might want to check that out before you end up paying support. I know. Sounds bizarre, but it happens.
skyeyez9 24
If anything, the cheating husband would have to pay support, not the wife.