Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
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Top comments
SirCharles83 13
Is there any one left out there who isn't a scum bag? What ever happened to having values?
Freethaawave 19
OP is psychic.
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Comments (144)
Freethaawave 19
Lol relax there! On a side note, the real highlight of my day was eating deep-fried cookie dough with my boyfriend, but whatever floats your boat!
BrackersInc 1
I hope you sack-whacked the crap out of him!
chandlerbelacic 17
Did you castrate him yet?
chandlerbelacic 17
Divorce his sorry ass
BadLuckDude12345 14
Divorce him.
J_C_maldonado 9
Damn…