Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
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Top comments
SirCharles83 13
Is there any one left out there who isn't a scum bag? What ever happened to having values?
Freethaawave 19
OP is psychic.
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Comments (144)
Llamacod 11
As opposed to being stoned with marshmallows? Well then it wouldn't be stoning.
theboy13 13
Looks like he can deal with it alone...
jem970 19
I thought you were going to go for a rhyme there but then you didn't.
Freethaawave 19
Sorry #6, I beat you to it!
iperson 11
That's messed up
AlexiAwesome 10
Don't ask questions you don't want answered.
Fmlsea 28
first of all she guessed not answered, second its better to find out now rather then later.
jjmiller1001 17
I think there is a country song about this....I'll go to heaven or hell before I see you with someone else
lonelyman36 12
Hello divorce...
BellaBelle_fml 23
20 - I was in an extremely abusive relationship at the age of 17, he was 21. It started with hurtful words, moved into punching, kicking, and slamming my face into walls, etc., that moved quickly into rape that consisted of him shoving a 4 inch blade inside me and down my throat for four days in my own home while my parents were away for a retreat an had absolutely no way of defending myself or getting help. Even at 17 I had the good sense to leave him in the dust rather than stay in that abusive situation and 'find love or comfort' in someone else behind his back. Even though he was a dick and deserved to be punished, severely, I still had the morals to not cheat and did the right thing by getting the hell out of there! There is no excuse for cheating as excuses only satisfy those who make them. It just isn't right in any circumstance. You ALWAYS have the option to leave.
icemand90 17
good guess!