Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
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Top comments
SirCharles83 13
Is there any one left out there who isn't a scum bag? What ever happened to having values?
Freethaawave 19
OP is psychic.
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Comments (144)
gracehi 31
122, I see where you're coming from, and my friends and family felt the same way. And you're right about one thing: it shouldn't have taken meeting someone new to leave my shitty husband. I should have left him much sooner and I wish I had. But things turned out okay for me in the end. My boyfriend and I are still together and are living together now. We are very happy together and my life is so much better now. The circumstances of our meeting wasn't ideal, but since it motivated me to finally leave my abusive husband, then I'd have to say it was a good thing.
MR_RODSQUAD 11
Did you read what you typed before entering the comment? I mean come on, "trapted". It seems like you need to read your comments out loud before you enter them.
lyssgross 16
Let this be a warning to cheaters everywhere - you WILL get caught, and you will have to deal with it for the rest of your life.
Grneyedgrrl 0
What a horrible thing to happen - and the irony of guessing the news...weird! I agree with many of the comments here...you're better off cutting your losses and getting out unless you're incredibly forgiving or you feel your marriage is *somehow* salvageable. I wish you more happiness in the future.
theunbeatableram 3
Mmhm. Says the guy with no common sense. Why can't you go five seconds without typing a cuss word? And not to mention you could at least capitalize the FIRST word. And even without the auto spell 'mistake' that comment made no sense. You're not good at jokes. Deal with it.
theunbeatableram 3
Oh, and sorry, I just realized only one cuss word was used. I couldn't tell under all that bad typing.
VLJACK 6
Damn! Not good!
onorexveritas 23
divorce that cheating bastard. on the bright side, he told you, instead of keeping it a secret
theleahsaurus 7
I can only imagine the fury you must feel.
thundergodx 11
And he didn't invite you to that fun ? Dump his ass