Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
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Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML
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Top comments
lolatflyingducks 0
Clearly, you have never played Farmville.
chadhilliard67 0
haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither
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Comments (287)
emmakat17 0
i hate that stupid game myparents neglect me and my brother for it 0.0
untalented1 0
why not plant him some strawberries in your garden and then have sex next to them in the future. that will avoid this whole issue altogether. i think that's the moral of this fml (for you).
dramakat11 0
That's so lame! I don't play any of those facebook games. They're boring.
LifeFucksUsAll 0
My mom is addicted to that Application. She actually spent 6 hours of her day rearranging her farm because someone said it looked 'Tacky'. It was pathetic.
RhymePrime 7
Hey I read your FML earlier! Have you reclaimed your possessions?
Meeka_fml 0
Why is he planting strawberries? Pumpkins are where it's at. And rice.
artiststatement 21
Very true. Very true. I'm just worried about when I go on vacation for a week, hahaha.
teeda 1
..and blueberries! Geez...strawberries are lame. LOL
ghapsees 0
You mean peppers! I can totally understand this guy. School starts at 7:40 for me, but I woke up at 5 in order to plant tomatoes on Farmville that would be ready when I got home in the afternoon. totally worth it.
imajinethat 0
Completely agree. Those raspberries are worth nothing!
strength413 8
you're crazy, tomatoes are the best crop in the game.
Scaramanga_fml 0
Well some of us can't get tomatoes yet...
LifeFucksUsAll 0
*Mom and Dad
that_guy321 2
i'm sorry, but i have to call bullshit the person probably saw the FML about mousehunt and decided to write one about FarmVille
Miss_Q 0
I like Farm Town better. I'm addicted to it sadly.
Sleepwalker418 0
Restaurant City FTW
smashitup 0
THIS. farmville is still good tho
genius_man16 0
WHYY are you married to this loser? I mean jebus, what kind of guy stops in the middle of sex to play a facebook game?