Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML
Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Harry Beetle... The bug who lived... Come to die.
iliketocomment17 7
ewww
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Comments (85)
C94Slim 7
mmmm keeps ur teeth brown and is a goo source of protein :)
lv426master 0
Reminds me of the David Firth cartoon about the beetles. You sure you're not just formicating? Crack addict...
awks 0
ngddkgwlyekysu thats so gross! I guess you can't brush your teeth to get rid of the after taste! ！(◎_◎;)
slap_u_much 6
yummy protein!!!
cagedglobe 0
yummy!!!!!
amber551133 5
...well I hope you rebrushed you teeth...
mrsnuggles 0
They're probably bread beetles, not bed bugs. Bedbugs live in dark places and only come out to feed on their host (you) at night. Bread beetles will breed in bread, cereal, pasta, etc. Any kind of grain, really. Find where their nest is, throw it out, and make sure all you grains are sealed. If you keep your stuff properly sealed, they'll go away in a week or two.
kbug 0
Yuck... Beetle Juice!
ILoveYourDespair 0
Mmm. Beetlejuice.
sykokitti 15
no you killed it with your hot ass breath.. poor lil beetle what a horrible way to die....