Miscellaneous: Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying,... - FML

By sadgirl - 10/06/2013 18:14 - United States - Conway

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 260

You deserved it 4 361

Walk the line

Good boy

Kids are hard work

By ohn0es - 23/01/2009 10:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 212

You deserved it 5 193

By Anonymous - 17/11/2010 08:03 - United States

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 354

You deserved it 8 825

Welcome to the Splash Zone!

By Vomitoid - 07/02/2018 01:30

Today, we had a test in history. My best friend, who was sitting right behind me, had forgotten about it and put his finger in his throat to vomit. It sprayed all over his desk, his pants, and the entirety of my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 211

You deserved it 323

By UN4 - 27/05/2015 16:25 - United States

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 331

You deserved it 3 390

Medication shutdown

By Anonymous - 29/09/2011 09:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 805

You deserved it 4 943

By Anonymous - 25/10/2010 16:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 989

You deserved it 4 475

By outofluckatcollege - 27/08/2016 07:33 - United States - Lewisville

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't stuck rooming together for the rest of a semester that hasn't even started yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 857

You deserved it 1 445

Jammed

By stinky car - 16/08/2013 03:18 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 978

You deserved it 10 393

Great parenting

By VeryLoved - 28/04/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, after a year of staying at home, I finally went out. I had a panic attack and couldn't breathe, so my mum decided to scream at me and slap me so I'd become "normal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 202

By phonnah - 20/06/2012 17:59 - United States - Bowie

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 222

You deserved it 3 208

By Klepto - 15/11/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 282

You deserved it 73 083

By hatelife - 14/06/2011 18:37 - United States

Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 227

You deserved it 5 141

By involuntary waxing - 15/01/2012 09:00 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 947

You deserved it 4 294

By drake86 - 09/01/2013 16:42 - United Kingdom - Helensburgh

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 897

You deserved it 32 997

By anonymaiacciu - 22/12/2012 01:16 - France

Spicy

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 664

You deserved it 8 923

By RedFace - 05/04/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, I was at a band concert with 500 other people. The song they were performing stopped, and I loved it so much I stood up and clapped. Everyone stared, while I slowly realized the song wasn't over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 090

You deserved it 35 315

By theboywithlonghair - 09/09/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, I decided to go get my hair cut because it was getting a bit long. I told the lady that I wanted it way short and she replied "Why? You will look like a guy sweetie." I am a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 925

You deserved it 6 882

By Anonymous - 27/05/2014 19:26 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 701

You deserved it 5 477

By Anonymous - 27/06/2011 13:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 941

You deserved it 8 097

By Jack - 09/08/2016 00:23 - United States - Asheville

Today, my mom said, "I'm sorry your life is such shit." She meant it as an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 926

You deserved it 1 339

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 21:26 - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 105

You deserved it 2 012

By dumpedandstranded - 15/10/2009 20:19 - Canada

Today, I flew to Mexico with my (now ex) boyfriend of two years. It was my first time flying, and apparently I have a fear. I had a panic attack on the plane. When we landed, I got dumped for "causing a scene." I am now stranded in Mexico alone for two weeks with no hotel room booked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 754

You deserved it 5 161

By happycow122 - 20/06/2015 20:54 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 044

You deserved it 20 304

Hang in there

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 22:59 - Australia

Today, after growing up in abusive homes most of my life until last year, I'm finally the happiest I could be and I'm getting all the help I need and achieving my dreams. I feel genuinely happy, yet I still want to end it. I've asked doctors for meds but they want me to see a psychiatrist first. The waiting list is more than a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 80

By nuerrotticc - 06/01/2011 08:58

Today, I had a panic attack at 2am because someone decided to throw a snowball at my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 483

You deserved it 6 691

By izaya - 05/07/2015 16:26 - United States - Muskogee

Today, I woke up with a electric dog collar on my neck. I wouldn't have noticed it until my stepfather turned the collar to the highest intensity just to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 019

You deserved it 2 101

White collar crime

By potting shed woman - 27/05/2021 04:01

Today, after I told my boss I'd found a serious error that cost the company thousands each year, I found out he'd fled abroad. Turns out the error was him stealing for the past 40 years, our entire department is under investigation and the owner is considering scrapping our office and firing us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 55

Maybe he's into that...

By pissypants - 25/11/2017 19:00

Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my dates popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 078

You deserved it 3 326

Say hello to my plastic friend!

By Pandathepilot - 10/11/2017 15:00

Today, my principal made me visit "anti-violence" classes because I had a picture of me threatening a man with a gun on my Facebook page. It was taken during the school play, where I was acting as a gangster and the gun was just a toy. The principal saw the play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 553

You deserved it 313

By bbedlock - 16/04/2011 12:35 - Australia

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 265

You deserved it 19 162

By infortunatename - 01/08/2014 23:10 - United States

Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 001

You deserved it 12 766

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 00:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 175

You deserved it 43 642

By Anonymous - 08/11/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 138

You deserved it 8 016

By fuck the man-dominated construction business - 19/06/2013 16:18 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 718

You deserved it 17 925

By Anonymous - 05/10/2010 09:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 007

You deserved it 6 660

By rayraydayday - 21/03/2015 04:25 - United States - Englewood

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 257

You deserved it 10 994

By criley - 24/06/2014 01:56 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 660

You deserved it 6 508

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 23:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 793

You deserved it 12 592

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 14:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 761

You deserved it 18 803

Halloween (slight return)

By fuck you and that stupid mutt - 02/11/2021 08:00

Today, I was outside carving pumpkins with my kids in the grass in my apartments. This rabid Karen starting screaming about the mess we were making. First of all, we were putting the pulp in a bag; second, she lets her dog bark all night and never cleans up it’s shit whenever it goes on our property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 71

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 0:56

And he's the senile, blind one.

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 0:57

Just reply: "Yup, I got my looks from you".

Comments

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 0:56

And he's the senile, blind one.

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 1:25

Thread jacking since the other guy isn't here. FML needs an old person category, get it done Alan.

MichellinMan 20

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 2:36

Kick his hip as hard as you can. Old man won't come back from that.

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 3:37

If he were blind, he wouldn't be able to point at OP. ;)

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 6:39

She should say "that's not what you said last night *winks*"

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 6:59

#61 wtf thats her grandpa thats just weird

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 7:08

#63 and your point is?

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 7:14

her grandpa and anyone else that saw that would probably never talk to her again.

benmec 18

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 9:27

#61 don't forget to add, *slaps grandpa's ass...

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 10:21

Kim- I'm not sure how you guys do it over in Rancho Cordova, but typically, incest is frowned upon. Your comment was just plain creepy...but I'm even more taken back by the fact you don't see what's wrong with your comment...

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 10:46

Maybe you don't apply yourself to your looks so ydi!?

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 0:57

Point back and say "yeah, he's the bald, grumpy one."

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 1:05

and soon to be died one

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 1:09

I dead when I red that.

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 1:16

Lol

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 1:23

Jump out from behind a corner and exact your revenge OP, it might even make his heart start pumping again, cold bastard.

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 0:57

I cannot find a silver lining to this, I apologize buut guess who's getting into a shitty elderly home! :)

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 1:17

The silver lining: Both (assuming OP and 1 sibling) are both good looking, but her grandpa says she's the ugly one when meaning uglier... Not a good one, but still a potential silver lining ;) Also, seeing your edit, that's dirty revenge if that's all he's done :(

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 6:13

Maybe he was bragging: "look how pretty she is! and she's the UGLY one!"

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 21:10

Not to mention she will eventually be in an elderly home too

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 0:57

Sounds like you have a loving grandfather there.

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 0:57

Just reply: "Yup, I got my looks from you".

rapunzel3416 28

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 0:57

I love old people who don't sensor themselves.

iLike2Teabag 27

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 4:35

My hipster grandpa puts on motion sensors every day when he goes and records the animation for the newest skateboarding video game. He likes to sensor himself I think you mean censor.

rapunzel3416 28

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 11:10

Well darn I always triple check my comments but just looked dumb this time. Oh well you live and you learn.

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 0:58

Atleast you don't have someone that has to clean your shit like he does

gameofthrones_fml 12

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 2:39

Yeah, which sucks by the way. Respect for any caregiver that has to wipe grumpy old men's asses, like OP's grandfather.

RedPillSucks 31

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 3:37

plus, OP could be the one that has to clean his shit.

cuppycakeslove 20

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 0:58

What a sweet and loving grandfather you've got there..

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 1:02

He must be the dick head one.

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Tuesday 11 June 2013 1:03

"The pretty wishes the luck of the ugly." Maybe what he said is true, maybe it is not. Who cares! Attitude makes the difference.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 7

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 9

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 48

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 78