Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my Mii knocked out her Mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one-player mode. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, my girlfriend planned our day, she wanted to play FIFA before having sex. I won 11-0. She stormed out of the room, went home and isn't picking my calls / texting back. It's been 12 hours. FML
Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML
Today, during an argument, my girlfriend said she wasn't having sex with me anytime soon. She never wants sex in the first place, so her threat fell pretty flat. When I pointed this out, she went absolutely apeshit and started throwing plates at me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
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Top comments
BabyDacey 0
LOL sore loser
suntherian 4
LOL Okay it sucks for you, OP but that's just hilarious. Even your Mii is trying to knock some sense into her! :P
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Comments (124)
brain_slap 0
How is that intimacy? just cause the word sex appears?
dirtyrussian97 0
either that's a pic of Thomas Müller or you look alot like him
summerlesslove 0
that is Muller so unless Muller reads FML its fake
summerlesslove 0
Probably just a pic from the internet
inkyloveblot 2
Uh yeah dude. Sex is intimate.
perdix 31
Doesn't she know that the Miis used for computer opponents are randomly selected? Maybe you ought to use a similar technique to select a girl to have sex with until your gf pulls her head out of her ass. Make her make sammiches for you and the new random girl.
oogyboogy 6
dear perdix, I used to look forward to. reading your comment. when I saw your picture at the bottom of the screen I would skip the comment I was currently reading so I could read yours. my favorite one would have to be the one waaayyy back when you had the discussion about when you were 16 you were still breast feeding. this comment above me would have to be your poorest work and I'm very sorry. [={ sincerely, oogyboogey
BonJovi821 3
Dear creepy stalker who goes by the name oogyboogy, You seem like you're a creepy stalker. I'm not perdix, but from what I've seen.... you're a creepy stalker. Sincerely, BonJovi821
rbatt001 0
haha she's stalking perdix and you are stalking Bonjovi
oogyboogy 6
I'M A MAAAALE!!!!!!! RAAAWWWR!!!!
Silkie 0
Haha! **** blocked by a video game...XD And isn't it usually the girl who is denied sex because of video games?
the_flirtt 0
true true
L_M_L_10 0
^Do guys really deny their girl sex because of video games?? My boyfriend tried to tell me to wait until the game was over, but thats where the girl takes control. Would guys still say no then? OP that sucks, tell your girl to grow the **** up. Its just a game, and plus it wasnt even you she was playing!! Thats ridiculous!
the_flirtt 0
ok maybe not then :/
Silkie 0
It's always, "Just one more game Babe, and then I swear I'll be done." Or, "Just let me finish this match."
Eniiaffection 0
Beat the shot out of her in real life. (:
the_flirtt 0
shot ?
Eniiaffection 0
shit* damn iPhone /:
Thatguywhotrolls 0
I love how rational women are.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for having a Wii. What are you, 5? YDI for having a girlfriend. What are you, a FORNICATOR?! YDI for not smacking her ass and telling her to STFU and make you a sammich.
Shopaholic69137 0
That's a real winner you've got there. I would consider dating someone...idk...NORMAL.
antyox 0
this is hilarious. domestic violence on Wii.
danii1996 0
lol sweet girl
cstrat 0
So take care of yourself in "one player mode.". On her face. While she's sleeping.