Love: Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She...

By garrett - 14/02/2019 15:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 396

You deserved it 4 764

Love

Mother of the year

Really bugs me

Stranded

By caltech - 10/10/2012 04:15 - United States - San Jose

Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 087

You deserved it 2 072

By Mike - 01/03/2009 02:42 - United States

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 640

You deserved it 133 770

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 21:18 - United States

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 727

You deserved it 12 871

By gassy - 15/07/2015 11:15 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 226

You deserved it 3 997

By The Seamstress - 20/05/2017 11:00 - United States - Irving

Today, while sewing, I learned that I cannot hold pins in my mouth and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 012

You deserved it 5 404

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 18/06/2020 23:03

Today, I found out that the reason I have unbearable pain in my stomach when I sit down is because I have 2 horrifyingly large boils on my waist. My mother nearly fainted when I showed them to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 221

By fuzzy - 23/09/2009 10:43 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 621

You deserved it 6 835

By are you kidding me? - 16/05/2016 21:24 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my boss joined me on my vacation, to "make sure I actually went". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 478

You deserved it 910

By iphonerevolution - 05/07/2014 00:15 - South Africa

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 673

You deserved it 13 330

By ElixirRose - 20/07/2011 12:36 - United States

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 390

You deserved it 46 565

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 650

By Anonymous - 15/04/2012 13:55 - Sweden - Falk?ping

Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 517

You deserved it 4 722

Spooky

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 22:00

Today, my boyfriend had a nightmare, talking in his sleep about not hurting himself anymore or "auntie Nat Nat" will put him "back in the home with the mean doctors and the sicky medicine." WHAT THE FUCK? FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 86

Good night, sleep tight

By jjkk - 23/01/2021 05:02

Today, I have been trying to stop sleeping during the day, so I decided to clean my room to keep myself awake. Four hours later, I woke up on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 110

By kel - 10/02/2010 17:34 - United States

Today, in between the passing times at school, one of my classmates opened the door to my next class, so I turned to tell him thank you. Apparently, he was opening it for the teacher who was leaving. I collided with her and her very hot cup of coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 628

You deserved it 4 840

By confused - 09/04/2011 08:08 - United States

Today, I went on a date for the first time in eight months. He didn't make a move. I then asked if we were on a date. He said, "I don't know, I guess." I can't tell either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 723

You deserved it 5 624

By Uriyahu - 20/09/2010 22:11 - United States

Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 076

You deserved it 3 225

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 771

You deserved it 7 123

By ellieinc - 08/08/2016 03:39 - United States - Stacy

Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 930

You deserved it 1 388

By emsbuffalo - 04/01/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 150

You deserved it 3 092

By videochat - 14/02/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I cancelled out of a video chat with my boyfriend to go take a dump. I took my computer with me to look at Facebook. It took three minutes for me to realize I was still on video chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 940

You deserved it 53 762

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I went downtown to pay my speeding ticket. After standing in line and arguing with a rude woman behind the desk, I get back to my car only to find an expired meter and a parking ticket. I got a ticket while paying my ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 995

You deserved it 17 802

Gamers rise up

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 12:00 - Romania - Orsova

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 2 years of being together. The reason? I don't enjoy playing video games as much as he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 149

By gl0b3suck0r - 08/05/2012 16:41 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 349

You deserved it 4 597

By Anonymous - 09/01/2016 03:20 - Canada

Today, I found out what unwashed, warty feet taste like after someone kicked me in the mouth with one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 194

You deserved it 1 800

Gamers gonna gamer

By incels - 07/06/2021 02:01

Today, I put up my profile pic in Call of Duty: Mobile for the first time and got more than 50 friend requests and some very offensive messages from creepy guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 197

By Anonymous - 26/11/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the happy sacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 566

You deserved it 3 580

By eaa145 - 03/03/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 096

You deserved it 18 192

Doomed

By SweptWolf - 06/06/2020 23:02

Today, my fiancée handed me her engagement ring back and told me she felt like she's pressuring me into marriage, so to make me feel better about it we’re no longer engaged. On top of this, I found out she’s started talking to her ex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 151

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 500

You deserved it 23 246

Helpless

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 21:30

Today, I have to cook for her if I don’t want her to live on sweets, remind her to actually eat her food before it goes bad, then clean and put away her dishes. When I ask her to help, she complains that she "can never do it right anyway." My teenage daughter? No, my mom, age 62. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 05/11/2017 15:00

Today, my husband accused me of cheating on him and demanded to look through my phone. When he found nothing, he admitted to having his first gay experience this weekend and just wanting something to “even the field” before telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 340

You deserved it 409

Get your vaccinations if you can

By Jules - 25/04/2021 00:30

Today, we’re supposed to check people’s temperatures before their COVID vaccination. The thermometers don’t work, though. We’re told to just press the on-off-button twice, so they make the same beep-beep sound as if they were functioning to make people feel safe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 114

By thenewgirlfriend - 26/05/2013 14:15 - United States - League City

Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 576

You deserved it 8 029

By Ariella - 29/08/2011 04:06 - Singapore

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 771

You deserved it 2 448

By jazz - 22/01/2010 08:11 - France

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 217

You deserved it 5 736

Infantilizing

By this is why! - 30/10/2021 18:00 - United States

Today, my wife is angry with me for lying to her and “treating her like a child”. Knowing how long it takes her to get ready, I told her an event we were attending started an hour and a half before it really did. Even with the extra time, we barely made it. She still thinks I’m wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 360

You deserved it 96

By Anonymous - 20/07/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 550

You deserved it 13 536

By Jane - 07/12/2009 10:33 - United States

Today, I found out the weekly coffee talks my husband was having with his ex-girlfriend stopped involving coffee about 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 691

You deserved it 21 222

By moncheri1314 - 10/09/2010 16:13 - France

Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line. Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel. Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look like razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 458

You deserved it 4 431

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Top comments

littlexlion 4

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:08

Ah, gotta love females. If they win, they are upset because you "let them win". If they lose, they have a hissy fit. Yay for double edge swords!

kbaker90 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:10

I hate girls who do that. It's really annoying (don't go off on me, I'm a girl). She's just being cranky and will hopefully get over it soon.

noname_0000 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 13:54

first

AlexZB 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 23:50

YDI for sucking at ping pong seriously, how bad can you be? and why not just explain that to your girlfriend

missmollylynn 0

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Thursday 24 September 2009 2:30

i agree, this isn't a FML.

mcsnelly 5

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Thursday 24 September 2009 23:10

Actually, most people suggested not completely demolishing her at every game...different than letting her win.

genius_man16 0

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Thursday 24 September 2009 15:36

His girlfriend probably wouldn't believe him even if he did try and explain it to him. Girls like that are just fuckin crazy, and you need to just avoid them like the plague. (hint hint OP)

Reyo 2

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Thursday 24 September 2009 20:31

Am I the only one who finds that it's normally girls who pull that "YOU LET ME WIN!" *gets mad* bullcrap?

topdawg255 0

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Thursday 30 June 2011 6:51

ping-pong goes to 11 moron

atkir002 1

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Sunday 27 November 2011 0:26

whats ping-pong? is it table tennis. as we say in england just wondering.

jc10x 8

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Friday 14 June 2013 14:36

Yes 75, Americans call it ping-pong, Europeans and Africans call it table tennis

_Adog2645 24

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Sunday 21 August 2016 4:38

No, in America we call it either, but we mostly refer to it as ping pong (at least I do).

strata8 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 13:55

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

palleas_fml 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 16:07

lol, I hadn't seen that one :p no mercy, huh ^^ and a bit full of yourself, aren't you ;)

palleas_fml 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 16:48

hey, I never said she wasn't ^^ I don't know her (yet?) but I've been noticing her comments lately, and I'm already a fan ^^

Intoxicunt 5

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 18:00

Awww, thank you guys! You can't spell Sears without SARS.

canucksrule88 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 20:41

well you did say no mercy...but not true :P

766746 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:01

that sucks

ladysandry 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:02

Haha I barely find fmls funny anymore but this one actually made me laugh :)

littlexlion 4

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:08

Ah, gotta love females. If they win, they are upset because you "let them win". If they lose, they have a hissy fit. Yay for double edge swords!

PandaPandaPandaX 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:13

Haha shit you're onto us. @OP Just tell her you actually just suck at ping pong. Once she has had her fun ridiculing you, go play something you don't suck at and come a draw :P

plexico 3

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 17:57

The trick is to beat them, but "keep it close." Beating the shit out of them is almost as big a date-ender as throwing a game. There is one game where the girls like to win. I call it "Count the Orgasms." If a girl beats me 8-1, or 15-2, they seem to be OK with that. They know I tried my best, but I just came up short, so to speak. Shutouts are no good, however, the DSBs are painful.

Intoxicunt 5

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 17:58

Also don't fart in their face when you win. Just so you know....

Jiplo 18

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Thursday 24 April 2014 2:16

What happens with draws?

kbaker90 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:10

I hate girls who do that. It's really annoying (don't go off on me, I'm a girl). She's just being cranky and will hopefully get over it soon.

Tubasaurus 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:14

She would have probably done the same if you beat her. Just let her calm down and read her a bedtime story.

shekhar 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:19

FYL... ahh... perhaps you should convince her to play ding dong rather than ping pong!!

sj1990 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:28

i'm guessing you were playing to 21 and not 11 (since you were still going...), so on the plus side you didn't lose if she stormed off at 20-3.

itsallbs 0

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Wednesday 23 September 2009 14:28

Sounds to me that your gf is a total competitive bitch. She won a ping pong game. Big deal. It's probably in your best interest to drop her while you can. This behavior won't change.