Sex and Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my...

By knock_out - 16/07/2010 01:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my Mii knocked out her Mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one-player mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 931

You deserved it 4 892

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Same thing different taste

By Loser - 21/08/2013 15:17 - United States

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 737

You deserved it 26 270

By (not) fucked - 16/05/2014 16:01 - United States - Kingsville

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 752

You deserved it 8 249

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 10:08 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 147

You deserved it 8 503

Mario Kart is serious business

By Anonymous - 25/08/2014 05:44 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 830

You deserved it 8 593

Her plan!

By "Tarun Kumar" - 03/12/2019 14:00

Today, my girlfriend planned our day, she wanted to play FIFA before having sex. I won 11-0. She stormed out of the room, went home and isn't picking my calls / texting back. It's been 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 1 036

By garrett - 14/02/2019 15:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 464

You deserved it 4 778

Empty threat

By duck'n'cover!! - 10/08/2023 22:00

Today, during an argument, my girlfriend said she wasn't having sex with me anytime soon. She never wants sex in the first place, so her threat fell pretty flat. When I pointed this out, she went absolutely apeshit and started throwing plates at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 128

By Vampire Teabag - 12/02/2015 16:25 - United States - El Paso

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 803

You deserved it 3 470

By lonelygal69 - 19/08/2015 05:54 - United States - Stafford

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 110

You deserved it 3 788

By ouch - 29/03/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 642

You deserved it 16 847

BabyDacey 0

Friday 16 July 2010 9:06

LOL sore loser

suntherian 4

Friday 16 July 2010 9:11

LOL Okay it sucks for you, OP but that's just hilarious. Even your Mii is trying to knock some sense into her! :P

Comments

SourD_fml 0

Friday 16 July 2010 9:24

ydi for dating such a nerd. stick to one night stands =)

siddyslackah 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 9:14

****

aranpl0x 0

Friday 16 July 2010 9:24

lol tell your girlfriend to have sex meanwhile playing wii since she's so upset

MarkFeehily 0

Friday 16 July 2010 9:30

ha ha I agree!

OhTyler 0

Friday 16 July 2010 9:39

Tell her to play with your Wii.

the_flirtt 0

Friday 16 July 2010 9:49

good one

rebbee 0

Friday 16 July 2010 9:54

That is just pathetic. I think you may need to find yourself a new girl. One that puts out despite being knocked out on a stupid game.

sk8rboy373 0

Friday 16 July 2010 10:00

that's y u don't play wii

booGiesillEn 0

Friday 16 July 2010 10:00

honest to truth; seems like yu dating a girl that isnt too mature .

Charlie194 0

Friday 16 July 2010 10:06

Bitch slap her in real life :)

OHno0er 0

Friday 16 July 2010 10:20

CupAndSilverware 3

Friday 16 July 2010 10:22

it's just a game...

chocolatedrop 0

Friday 16 July 2010 22:24

lmfao! agreed

T_X_P 2

Friday 16 July 2010 10:10

So what you're saying is that you're dating a 12 year old?

iWearTightPants 0

Friday 16 July 2010 10:26

Wii suckss MAJOR balls :P

rainbowhobos 4

Friday 16 July 2010 19:18

Too bad OP's girlfriend doesn't. xD

Keywords

Teenagers Friends Love Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Work Awkward Parents Relatable Weird Miscellaneous Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice AITA Kids Annoying Roommate Shoes Music Names Customers Education Capitalism

The Top

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 164

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 72 915

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 346

Today, I took the lid off my slow cooker to serve up a casserole that had been 12 hours in the making. A cockroach took the opportunity to dive in. My husband and I are now eating toast, while the delicious smell of casserole taunts us from the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 012

You deserved it 4 522

Today, my uncle picked up a tissue box and threw it at my sister for fun. My sister got mad and yeeted the box at me. I reacted with the same action, but she lost her crap and kicked and punched me. When I reported the incident to my parents, I get berated and my sister got away with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 147

Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 542

You deserved it 424

Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 141

Today, I found out the real reason for my parents' divorce. Not because they had grown apart as they claimed, but because my dad was sleeping with hookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 84