Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
aprilita 8
To console her by making love to her ;)
ParkersGirl 0
LMAO!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (482)
mikescotty 0
dumb christions
merrilln 7
if you insist on insulting us, make sure you don't make yourself look stupid in the process.
Mekeritrig 15
Dumb Christians then.
krazyblake69 0
and when Shes pregnant she'll say u did this to me
Virginia6810 16
please learn how to spell before calling someone else dumb.
structuredchaoz 4
Run now dude. Seriously. Divorce in the making. Save the headache and run!!!!!
MrLefty 8
DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER DANGER! Religious nut alert. I'd get out NAO!
franticravyn 7
The power of Christ compells you!
Enslaved 36
() €====B :''''( Dangerous Liaisons quote "You'll find the shame is like the pain. You only feel it once."
Stupend0us 7
Break up with her telling her you only want to marry a virgin.
anon_e_m00se 8
first, tell her "we should have done anal, since that doesn't count" then tell her "but now you're not a virgin, and I only see myself marrying a virgin. bye"
HumanWiki 8
She's a religious idiot. Ditch her and date someone with a functioning brain.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Agreed. Some people.... ugh.
PattisonDaStud 0
religous people are delusional
creedaddict 9
well you are
AJMILLERMAN 2
was it good?