Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
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Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
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Top comments
aprilita 8
To console her by making love to her ;)
ParkersGirl 0
LMAO!
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Comments (482)
jessamy_brit 5
oh my god...... literally!
hotchicklover 0
jus show her how great it is and she will luv ur lil devil
PGDesigns 0
Jokingly tell her you're having second thoughts about the relationship. Be sure to capture the special moment on video.
hiscrazygurl1 5
this is why u don't date religious people. they are nuts!
ollierobs 0
Religion is not always the motivation for abstinence.
bebe088 0
your dad likes nuts.
unrose 1
says "mscrazygirl"... obviously religion has nothing to do with how coo coo someone is.
The_Weirdo 10
I know crazy people of many religions, and I know a few Atheist nut jobs as well.
insanity211 0
just cuz ur religious doesn't mean u do that dumbass
missIrene 6
don't feel bad it was her decision
ahahawut 1
makeup sex outta solve the problem.
daxter136 0
sheeesh it was her choice to do that
anon_e_m00se 8
not just her choice... he needs to put it to her in terms she'll understand: "Just like Eve tempted Adam, YOU tempted me, not the other way around. You're a ***** just like Eve, and we're going to hell because of you. Since you're not a virgin now, I can't stay with you, I need to go find a girl that will purify my soul, not one that will drag me down into a sex-pit of despair." Then have her call me.
charlieohcharlie 12
That is not even remotely funny. OP should've respected her beliefs, even if it seemed ridiculous to him. The fact he didn't prevent her from having sex with him means he doesn't respect her as a person either. You can argue that it is her 'choice', but the flesh is weak and it's merely human to be tempted. It shows from her willingness to remain a virgin until marriage, it was something important to her and now OP has taken that away from her!
0opsie 6
169 - If he didn't respect her beliefs he would have left her. It's human to be tempted but if you decide to give in you can't blame anyone else. If she has trouble sticking with her beliefs that's between her and her god. Having consensual sex with a person has nothing to do with a lack of respect. It's not his fault she regrets it.
sammie91michelle 0
most pll i noe who who was waitin to get marryed before sex n end up have sex before all actted the same think bad think they r goin to hell its normall she should stop in a week or two as was i but i am now happy wit my choice n happy wit my bf of 8yrs
KaintukeeBob 13
My God, girl, it's like a cat danced on your keyboard. I can't make out more than one or two words, let alone a sentence. I don't require perfect grammar or spelling, but this just takes it to a new level. I'd almost say you qualify as functionally illiterate, or as close as one can come in the modern world.
dreamering 16
Who in this world is going to understand what you wrote? Please don't reproduce.
lol_ironic_life 9
That comment was tough to read. Super crazy run on sentence lol! OP just give her some time. If you were her first she is probably going through a lot of emotions. Just be there for her, and she'll appreciate you so much more for that. However, if you were just in it to win it. Then you're everything she says you are lol.
ImAHomosexual 0
Go away.
KaintukeeBob 13
Let this be a lesson to you, kids: Don't do crack.
Hidan_fml 0
It wasn't just the spelling and grammar. Even your choice of words was bad. I only made out "I know people like this that say they save sex for marriage, but they end up having sex and they think they're going to hell.
Shadow_Phantom 26
@Alan: Much loves~
Virginia6810 16
I think this comment just made me dumber
KYLAisaBITCH 4
someone's been with you for 8years?? was your happiness in the same special Ed class as you?
TheNewGuy03 28
congrats, 47; you have just successfully murdered the english language. |the kid|
TJSpeed91 4
LEARN TO SPELL!!
TJSpeed91 4
LEARN TO SPELL!!
TJSpeed91 4
LEARN TO SPELL!!
TJSpeed91 4
LEARN TO SPELL!!
Legendslayer222 26
I think this is roughly what it translates to: "Most people I know who were waiting to get married before sex and end up having sex before all act the same. They think they are bad and think they are going to hell, its normal. She should stop in a week or two like me and I am now happy with my choice and happy with my boyfriend of 8 years."
GAMaeishere 0
74- THANK YOU for the translation o.o I gave up after the first sentence
yopoosmells 0
learn to spell
derfMcCallen 5
maybe she will let you stick it in her butt to console her.
Stupend0us 7
Run. Now.
mcnally664 5
had the exact same thought
captainbj2 0
totally agree. Run. Now.