Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with... - FML

By loser - 20/7/2009 22:39 - Canada

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

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Instadrama

Rock, hard place

True hero

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 08:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend told me he took pictures of me while I was sleeping. Instead of it being all cute like you see on social media, there's me sleeping with his dirty-ass sock on my face and him smiling in the background. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/12/2014 21:15 - United States

Today, I was chatting with the girl of my dreams, a real heart-to-heart. Everything was going great, and I asked her if she'd like to get coffee together sometime. She immediately backed away and excused herself, mumbling something about not dating left-handed people. Huh? FML

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By LifeLikeLemons - 14/11/2016 23:51 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got rear-ended trying to move off the road because I heard a police siren. It was the radio. FML

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By bass - 22/9/2009 01:50 - United States

Today, I got a call from a prominent orchestra asking me to play with them. They were especially interested because I'm still in high school. I called to accept only to find out that my mother had already declined the offer for me because I "only" have a 3.7. FML

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By sexyhobbit - 12/7/2014 00:26 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

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By myself - 9/2/2015 13:32 - United States

Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML

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By birthday bash - 4/1/2010 02:38 - France

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I am that loser. FML

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By lylethomes15 - 21/4/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

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By Pixel - 10/11/2014 09:10 - Canada - Castlegar

Today, I was supposed to go in for a polygraph test as part of the hiring process to be a cop, but I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep. Finally two hours before the exam, I fell into a deep sleep, so deep that I slept through all my alarms. Worst part: I couldn't lie about sleeping in. FML

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By Jobless - 7/9/2010 23:27 - Canada

Today, I had a job interview. The moment I walked into the room, the interviewer said "Ok, I will interview you, but there is no way I'm hiring you." FML

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By anon - 20/6/2014 05:06 - United States - Kennett

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

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By lynn777 - 4/4/2011 20:42 - Canada

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/6/2016 12:22 - Australia - West End

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

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By ShowerStar - 15/8/2012 21:14 - United States - Mequon

Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML

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By Son of a Bitch - 1/8/2015 17:17 - United States

Today, an hour into a family road trip, my mother informed me that she didn't put my suitcase in the car because it "didn't fit". FML

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By BobbyMalone - 17/1/2009 14:11 - Canada

Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

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By smurftastic - 3/9/2013 03:03 - United States - Murrieta

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

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By Notcheating - 3/12/2019 18:00

Not a cheating!

Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo.

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By Anonymous - 1/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 12:00 - Australia

Family Ties

Today, I found out via Facebook that my older sister just had another baby, a whole week ago, whose name is my middle name. No one told me. I didn't even know she was pregnant. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 21:40 - Denmark

Today, the weather man announced that today's forecast will include heavy rain and hail in my city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. However, my house has no roof at the moment. FML

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By TCRII - 11/10/2017 22:30 - United States - Springfield

Today, my wife and I agreed to get two horses. She got three horses and a pregnant goat. FML

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By Kelsiiii - 11/3/2020 03:00

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML

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By Davios - 27/12/2010 20:48 - United States

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

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By karebear - 9/9/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months said he wasn't going to break up with me, he was just going to stop touching me. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/3/2017 18:00

Today, my housemate blew chunks all over the freshly-painted walls in the bathroom. The paint was still wet. FML

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By Nico - 12/11/2011 15:42 - France

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

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By whatswrongwithit?:( - 30/9/2012 19:37 - United States - Chicago

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

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By djshahso - 26/2/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

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By wantsleep - 28/12/2016 08:25

Today, my boss continues to think it's appropriate to send me whining texts about work at midnight. Or 4 a.m. I think his complaints about not selling as much candy as he expected can wait till work hours. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/3/2017 07:00 - Canada - Sudbury

If it's brown, let it float around.

Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/12/2013 16:24 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/3/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

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By blondebarbie271 - 26/7/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

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By ScottishSteak - 27/9/2019 16:00

Scotland and its leccy bills

Today, I went to my local supermarket to get my electricity topped up. Problem is, 2 of the 3 cash machines weren't working. The third was, until I tried to withdraw cash, then nope. The supermarket only accepts cash for meter top ups. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/10/2018 17:30

Today, my mother-in-law flushed my pain medicine because she believes I’ve been using it too long and I’m addicted. I had surgery four days ago. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/10/2018 13:30

Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML

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By Anon - 27/2/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

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By Raspution - 16/6/2019 04:42

Today, I received my first customer complaint. It said, "I am a regular customer and when I come in, he is always smiling and tells me he will see me soon when I leave. This makes me feel very uncomfortable." Now I'm under investigation for sexual harassment. FML

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Top comments

By neburus | 0

#415601 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:08

I never knew people look cool while on the phone.

By fxdxhk90 | 0

#415602 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:08

YDI all the way. when you try to impress someone, you usually end up looking stupid.

COMMENTS

By neburus | 0

#415601 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:08

I never knew people look cool while on the phone.

Reply

bgukusa00 | 0

#415635 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:16

LOL such a LOSERRRR

Reply

Ichigoner | 0

#415656 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:27

How could you not know that? Its like, totally "in" these days. -_- OP fails.

Reply

tencalories | 3

#2485472 - Tuesday 10 May 2011 0:25

jsjz

By fxdxhk90 | 0

#415602 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:08

YDI all the way. when you try to impress someone, you usually end up looking stupid.

Reply

intotheblue | 0

#416675 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 19:14

Exactly. Whenever an FML starts with "in an attempt to look cool" or "I was trying to impress someone," I immediately know it's going to be a YDI. And this is no exception.

Reply

seb12992 | 0

#417113 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 22:00

Agreed. Seriously, is the OP a tard or something? "I tried to make myself look cool by pretending to have an intelligent and engaging discussion" Jeez, who gives a shit?

Reply

ashypinggg | 0

#2042141 - Thursday 3 February 2011 23:08

precisely ;)

Reply

YJD68_fml | 13

#6133352 - Tuesday 2 December 2014 23:10

Maybe I'm late but what is OP ?

By wolfy_fml | 5

#415610 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:10

Why do people do shit like his in an attempt to look cool? It is so stupid.

Reply

Moemoemoe_fml | 0

#415657 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:27

iawtc

Reply

divineinstrument | 2

#415919 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 13:02

People are overly obssessed with looking cool

Why can't people face it? We're all inherently pathetic. Now let's all get over ourselves and have fun

Reply

ZuRG_fml | 7

#416155 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 15:48

Better yet, why do these things keep making it through moderation? "I'm insecure so I acted stupidly and then got caught" is not FYL, it's an epiphany that it's time to grow the fuck up. Be thankful it happened to you.

Reply

swooshq | 0

#417197 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 22:45

Yes! There are so many "FMLs" about people attempting to look cool, and their little plan failing. YDI.

And OP, talking on the phone isn't that exciting.

Reply

krladygator3 | 7

#3628913 - Thursday 24 November 2011 7:34

Your name is wolfy that's unacceptable. That's my friend's nickname!!

Reply

MattChristensen | 14

#6228156 - Tuesday 10 March 2015 22:11

Who gives a shit?

By bioagg12 | 0

#415612 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:10

wow, YDI for being that dumb.

By z0mb130v3rl0rd | 0

#415616 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:11

At least you didn't forget the damn thing was on and start picking your nose :P

Reply

kopei | 0

#415643 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:20

ROFL YES

Reply

yeahitstella | 0

#417303 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 23:30

LOL that's what I was thinking!

By alex_vik | 0

#415620 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:11

Yeah...webcams have mics. If you're gonna keep up with technology, make sure you actually know what it does.

By maxson_fml | 0

#415642 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:20

How the hell would talking on the phone make you look cool? People talk on the phone, so fucking what.

Reply

Moemoemoe_fml | 0

#415675 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:38

totally! XD

By UrFlyyness | 0

#415644 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:20

Definitely A DUMMY move! HA! YDI!

By redbluegreen | 40

#415647 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:21

What would a 'cool person' say in their fake phone calls anyway?

Reply

lalaimbored | 0

#417962 - Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:39

ahhaha exactly what i was thinking!

By anditsashlee | 0

#415664 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 9:31

I would do that aha
Were you mouthing crap or where you luke saying stupid things?