Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
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Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
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Top comments
aprilita 8
To console her by making love to her ;)
ParkersGirl 0
LMAO!
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Comments (482)
prettyinpink03 11
couldve said no too. especially since you knew of her wishes.
onemightydrummer 3
wow dude...
yuvaluv 0
I feel bad, but you shouldn't because I would be pretty happy to be called the devils temptation.
Tarak_fml 7
so I guess it wasn't as good for her as it was for you....
Drumscape 0
It's a shame it happened but truthfully, the act of intercourse involves a partnership; TWO PEOPLE! unless she was forced to do physically, she has no one to blame, christian or not.
Flutist 3
Op, tell her you only did God's work. The Karma Sutra was written by a monk. Also, it was her first time just play dumb and ask, "That's not what you meant by wanting a missionary position was it honey?"
choshaki 8
I think ur the stupid one for being such a dick, and making an account just to say this???!
diaz5 1
LMFAO!
talkingtwaddle 1
RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!! Zealots like that can only lead to bad things.
talkingtwaddle 1
RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!! Zealots like that can only lead to bad things.
tylr6024 0
end it right now. shes a crazy bitch