Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
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Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
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Top comments
aprilita 8
To console her by making love to her ;)
ParkersGirl 0
LMAO!
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Comments (482)
exiledTexan 0
take it as a compliment...
summerhot_fml 2
haha look at his name
shovels 0
lolsack
Hidan_fml 0
I lol'd too. :P
iChel413 6
lol
horrorfreak79nj 2
Tell her she's an idiot & God himself wishes you'd punch her in the face & smack some sense into her.
Keyman1212 14
Or.... Not.
Saltime 0
I'll be right back, I'm gonna find my old "Worst Comment Ever" award an give it to you.
Creamysweeps 5
dang keyman you comment a lot just saying
Thomas_Rothbard 0
god doesn't exist
NYCM 6
He talked with god he said he wants to punch you in the face an that you and idiot
scrapmetal58 9
Creamy, you just commented one too many times. I do not think that would be a good thing to say to someone that religious. It'd simply backfire even if he said it as a joke considering the state she is in.
goshpeople 4
If you knew she had such strong views on the subject, you should've been extremely cautious about going along with having sex when she suddenly decided to do it.
Krennicus 0
You mean turn down possible sex?
free2speak 14
I'm a girl and that's the most ridiculous thing ever. it's like telling a girl that you're going to take her shopping and then getting mad at her cause she spent all your money. You just don't offer things you can't afford to loose.
stacianichole 2
yeah, shoulda told her to sleep on it for a couple nights to be 100% sure.
tanishpradhan 20
She did sleep 'on it'
yarm 0
is your girlfriend's name Bristol?
Chicka91961 0
lmfao
DrewsFML 8
best reply!
Pufferfish78 5
Crazy bible thumpers!
Akalia_fml 7
Not all "Bible-Thumpers" are crazy. 0,0
Pufferfish78 5
Nope, but this one is.
rick159 12
yes they are.... an invisible man is going to take you to a magical place when you die.....that's pretty nuts to me
quadder 0
182 your profile pic certainly pertains to religious nuts lol
darth_nova 0
Yes they are lol every single one of them
KaintukeeBob 13
OP: Are you THAT bad that she's still crying 4 hours later? Read the Kama Sutra, bud.
VsMisforture 1
maybe he was too good that's why she called him the devils temptation lol
stevenlesage 0
Agree with 12- I got rid of my dream car 1965 Mustang to work on a past relationship for she thought I spent to much time with it instead her. then she went around telling everyone it's my fault we split just to make her feel better about it.
A7xPenguin 0
what a bitch! that really steams my beans haha i love cars more than women!
MsSoulReaper 27
That name sounds pretty kinky.. but FYL bro. Maybe she'll open up again but for now you have to wait for her to cool down.
mimihigurashi 0
I just made an account to express how stupid that woman is. Extremely. And wtf religion
FlashBurn 13
There was no mention of religion in the FML. Some people do wait until marriage and aren't religious, newb.
daisyloo 7
Agree with 34!!
TheLetterZero 7
-praying -devil's temptation Religion is obvious in this post, newb.
rattusrattus 18
The crying, praying and whole "temptation" thing does suggest religion... Poor girl, that sounds horribly messed up. It was probably a combination of religious guilt and the whole 'virgin pain' thing. And FYL, OP.
Kittenfluff 2
Except.... She called him the devil's temptation. Sounds pretty religious to me. If you're not religious, no need to bring the devil into things. *shrug^
Kittenfluff 2
whoops, beaten to the punch :P ^agreeing with them, then.
Legendslayer222 26
123, what do you mean there's no need to bring the devil into things? There is always that need!