Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, after two weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
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Top comments
aprilita 8
To console her by making love to her ;)
ParkersGirl 0
LMAO!
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Comments (482)
HU4L188 0
overly religious people irritate me.... "devils temptation": seriously?! wtf?
ACDC_Fan 0
people that are "under-religious" (like you) irritate me ?
yopoosmells 0
I'm catholic not crazy! I'd have sex without doing this!
sarahmd 0
comfort her!! she's angry and upset because she feels like she broke a promise to herself and god, so be there for her.
ImAHomosexual 0
**** you. That bitch is nuts.
Mekeritrig 15
She's calling him 'the devil's temptation'. I don't think there's any sane answer to that.
legitasaurusrex 0
why should he be there for her? OP has done nothing wrong. if he had respected her wishes and denied her, more than likely she wouldve gotten pissed. its a lose/lose situation...
TokioCore 17
Finally!!! Obviously she's upset that she couldn't keep her promise, not blaming OP. She needs support and comfort.
underdose 9
thats why you dont date religous phycos
sovetskiy 8
psychos*
0opsie 6
*religious
WishLine 6
*that's
Ugi 26
That's
WishLine 6
*don't ....have we missed anything?
Ugi 26
Only the full stop (period) at the end, I think!
zackmbee 0
hey, atleast you got some, right?
Bootrick 11
She's crying because she expected you to propose after that
Uncle_Ben96 5
Maybe cause she saw your pee pee.
Natalie403 6
You were that bad? ;) jk she'll get over it :p
Iknoweverything 29
I AM (mildly) religious... and personally I think OP should take offense that she's blaming her decision to "sin" (in her sense of the word) as him being the temptation. People who blame other people as the "devil's temptation" tend to be the ones that give Christians a bad name. Personally OP, I think you should put it back on her... technically SHE tempted YOU.
eog314 0
agreed 100%
AttucisFinch 0
Well said
TheNewGuy03 28
if you ask me, blaming the people themselves is the fatal flaw, as christianity (and some other major world religions) teach forgiveness. the person can't be the problem; it would be their actions, in which case you'd "repent" or what have you. some people, despite having grown up in church, can't seem to grasp this concept... can't save everyone, right? |the kid|
JenL_fml 7
69, I couldn't have said it any better.
sbsq11 0
Thank you! Some Christians just make it even harder forbore people to accept the lord!
sbsq11 0
Exactly
xGolBLiiN 1
she chose to do that and her having the mental breakdown is not your fault dont blame yourself OP but still FYL
eog314 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA