Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie... - FML

By Queasy - 24/1/2010 00:15 - Canada

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28125

You deserved it

6014

Tweet

Share

Dangling modifier

Instadrama

Last dates

By Igor - 19/12/2012 05:16 - United States - Lansdale

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34221

You deserved it

4076

Tweet

Share

By Paul - 2/5/2013 01:52 - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53896

You deserved it

2594

Tweet

Share

By shit - 31/1/2009 04:40 - United States

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29107

You deserved it

1891

Tweet

Share

By Marian - 23/3/2009 19:37 - United States

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

73533

You deserved it

8986

Tweet

Share

By rain1 - 6/1/2014 02:54 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50970

You deserved it

4341

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/1/2011 03:27 - United States

Today, I sent a friend request on facebook to the only person I became friends with this semester at college. He denied me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31066

You deserved it

4334

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/8/2013 23:29 - Switzerland

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47385

You deserved it

7791

Tweet

Share

By lez probs - 18/5/2013 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56408

You deserved it

21639

Tweet

Share

By nevaagain - 19/8/2016 20:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16334

You deserved it

3418

Tweet

Share

By bcca - 13/2/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24074

You deserved it

6302

Tweet

Share

By swim5 - 31/3/2012 12:22 - United States - Tempe

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31406

You deserved it

3476

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/8/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared to the Earth. I didn't have anything on me to help demonstrate, so to imitate the Earth, I made a small hole with my index finger and thumb and said "Okay, imagine a ball this small." She then looked at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29763

You deserved it

12646

Tweet

Share

By smiles22 - 27/11/2010 06:38 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a back-up girl if we break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35563

You deserved it

4472

Tweet

Share

By DogThermoeter - 10/3/2019 18:00

Today, I took my temperature since I've had a cold for a few days. After reading the display, I noticed the sheath had "Lily" written on it. Lily is our golden retriever. It was in her ass yesterday after she had a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2078

You deserved it

1444

Tweet

Share

By Grossed out - 14/2/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, my mother was driving me and my friends to a wedding. My friends and I were talking about birth control, and then my mother chimes in, "Yeah, I used to use the sponge, but the spermicide would always burn your dad's penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42240

You deserved it

7223

Tweet

Share

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

74756

You deserved it

7227

Tweet

Share

By Raiders4ever - 21/10/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43260

You deserved it

24926

Tweet

Share

By pubemilkshake - 8/12/2014 02:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41688

You deserved it

4878

Tweet

Share

By baller - 8/6/2009 10:39 - Australia

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16941

You deserved it

92416

Tweet

Share

By unloved - 1/10/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42244

You deserved it

6792

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/5/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22348

You deserved it

87777

Tweet

Share

By kevcng - 10/9/2012 21:20 - United States

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24630

You deserved it

7949

Tweet

Share

By footfood - 27/6/2011 14:56 - Slovenia

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

74078

You deserved it

7698

Tweet

Share

By booo - 27/7/2012 17:46 - United States - Minden

Today, I had my eyebrows waxed for my senior pictures. After manhandling me, the cosmetologist managed to "accidentally" take my whole eyebrow off. It looks like I'll be remembered forevermore as the girl with one eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25097

You deserved it

3259

Tweet

Share

By rydawg79 - 30/8/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11031

You deserved it

64641

Tweet

Share

By AgentKoos_99 - 11/10/2016 07:52 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after waiting 3 months to see if I got the job I had applied for, I was told that they never received my application. Turns out that the email address that they told me to send it to was not being checked anymore and that they would be happy to consider me for the following year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13863

You deserved it

1341

Tweet

Share

By beatricesank - 23/5/2009 14:03 - Canada

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65837

You deserved it

6614

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/10/2010 08:19 - United States

Today, I found out that the blind man I've been helping for months at the grocery store by carrying his shopping around and stuff was actually faking his blindness. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30977

You deserved it

3735

Tweet

Share

By webcammistake - 17/3/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24030

You deserved it

75645

Tweet

Share

By fedemere - 28/5/2011 06:54 - United States

Today, I finally told the girl I've been after for more than a year that I'm attracted to her. Her response? A slight hug with a pat on the back as she said "There, there." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37807

You deserved it

4644

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 20:24 - United States - Porter

Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22473

You deserved it

4652

Tweet

Share

By Char - 24/9/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - Gravesend

Today, whilst at work, I had a woman come in with a problem with the seat in her car not moving backwards or forwards. There was a dildo stuck in the chair rail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3729

You deserved it

256

Tweet

Share

By Awesome - 17/8/2011 00:05 - Russian Federation

Today, I found out that I was moving to Germany. I'm going to be put back a year in school because of the system change. I also don't speak a word of German. Why? Because my mother wants to brag about this experience to her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34833

You deserved it

2777

Tweet

Share

By sleepy125 - 23/1/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, the first guy I've ever loved is going to a fancy rush party with my best friend. He did tell me he needed space to think about us this whole weekend. I guess I know what he's been thinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22140

You deserved it

2015

Tweet

Share

By - 19/11/2019 14:00

He prefers the dog

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1844

You deserved it

328

Tweet

Share

By itchy itches - 23/8/2020 05:05 - United States

Box of magic

Today, my neighbor brought home a box of kittens he found in the park. Instead of calling animal control, he decided to keep them. Besides the incessant meowing throughout the day and night, a massive horde of fleas decided to migrate through his light sockets and into my nice clean apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1336

You deserved it

169

Tweet

Share

By Dan - 8/10/2009 16:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my leaving party after work to celebrate getting a new job. 3 people turned up. I'd invited 35. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33923

You deserved it

5392

Tweet

Share

By jazojigga - 2/3/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16722

You deserved it

52010

Tweet

Share

By Husband - 13/3/2017 18:00

Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5309

You deserved it

859

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/6/2009 14:46 - Australia

Today, my fiancé of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61310

You deserved it

3569

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By auburnvans | 0

#795251 - Sunday 24 January 2010 9:35

Which movie?

By r00b | 0

#795381 - Sunday 24 January 2010 11:34

Actually Dave, they used the word 'nauseous' correctly. You're the one who got them the wrong way round. Well done.

COMMENTS

By JoshTheMaggot | 8

#795228 - Sunday 24 January 2010 9:29

fyl dude I'm sorry that sucks. but hey now you have battle scars and a cool (made up) story to tell ure friends.

Reply

xxprettydisaster | 0

#795248 - Sunday 24 January 2010 9:34

haha i did that once (made a story not the fml) but that does suck big time

Reply

ibbert42 | 0

#795343 - Sunday 24 January 2010 10:52

@1: I see what you did thar.

Reply

bitched | 0

#795853 - Sunday 24 January 2010 17:49

let me guess avatar, the same thing happened to me except for the black eye

Reply

JazzyPieces | 0

#796013 - Sunday 24 January 2010 19:31

mhmm. avatar made me puke too.
3rd row + imax + me = vomit.

Reply

scvcwcheer | 0

#1099314 - Friday 16 July 2010 23:09

#1 has a point. but also, that's really close for any movie...

Reply

qwerty8788 | 4

#1563420 - Monday 18 October 2010 3:05

they all die in the end.

By auburnvans | 0

#795251 - Sunday 24 January 2010 9:35

Which movie?

Reply

Suptnik | 9

#4704520 - Wednesday 18 July 2012 18:31

It was Avatar, and I had to clean up OP's vomit. Thanks for making my job interesting!

By maskedman | 9

#795265 - Sunday 24 January 2010 9:39

Avatar?

Reply

Peroxide | 3

#795364 - Sunday 24 January 2010 11:10

I suffer from motion sickness and that movie made me a bit sick but the blue nipple in 3D was well worth it.

Reply

escapenowx | 0

#795604 - Sunday 24 January 2010 15:48

samee here -- the motionsickness part. I've still failed at seeing that movie :

By boredinjp | 14

#795267 - Sunday 24 January 2010 9:41

That's one of the best written FML! Well, it's still an FML. Double, nah, triple hit - OP did pay for the movie which will have to re-watch. Each of those things suck, but together - the low of lows.

By jgill87 | 0

#795271 - Sunday 24 January 2010 9:43

Watching Avatar I bet.

Reply

tisiphone_fml | 0

#795297 - Sunday 24 January 2010 10:10

Yeah, its definitely not a movie to watch if you get motion sickness. My friends who went to see it who know they can't take the constant motion had to take Dramamine first. Hope you get to see the ending, later!

Reply

LOL97_fml | 0

#795693 - Sunday 24 January 2010 16:29

uhhh i saw it it was a lot easier than lets say a rollercoaster or idk u dont get motion sickness from avatar

Reply

Hiimhaileypotter | 52

#6051425 - Friday 29 August 2014 13:49

#36, You'd be surprised. I get motion sickness from EVERYTHING, and that includes Avatar in 3D and a couple other movies.

By fruhe | 0

#795272 - Sunday 24 January 2010 9:46

Wouldn't surprise me if it was Avatar. It was beautiful but man, I felt nauseous the whole time.

By jonny2x4 | 0

#795304 - Sunday 24 January 2010 10:14

I see you.

Maybe you shouldn't eat before you watch a movie?

By HamsteronA | 0

#795307 - Sunday 24 January 2010 10:17

FAIL. ydi for eating cabbage.

By shalizzz | 0

#795308 - Sunday 24 January 2010 10:18

Really , dude, FYL!!!
I feel your pain, I once got queasy while playing Grand Theft Auto.

Yet, it's one of the funniest FMLs I've read in a while!

By kloof | 0

#795314 - Sunday 24 January 2010 10:22

He could of been eating during the movie.