Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to give her my phone's passcode. FML
Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML
Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML
Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
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Top comments
tehman117 21
Is she 3?
irish_lad 16
She threatened. Now you carry out that threat
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Comments (154)
Nimor 25
You should have told her to go ahead and break up with you. Telling everyone the "reason" should be humiliation enough.
Vestin 18
#11: Best case scenario - she denies it. Worst case scenario - she makes up an elaborate abuse story and gets him arrested. Don't tell me she doesn't sound crazy enough ;P!
Aimeejasmine 15
What the hell? How did this go from 'hold my hand' to getting arrested?
Vestin 18
#118: Through the magic of FML ^^. I've seen enough entries to be able to come up with such grim scenarios. It's not the most convoluted plot, really: he breaks up and embarrasses her with truth, she denies and screws him over with lies. It's her words against his, her word wins. Keep in mind - "worst case scenario".
Miss_Whipped 43
I don't see an issue with this, other than the fact that she threatened to put your relationship on the line for something so trivial.
Zebediabolical 45
The fact that she'd threaten to break up over something so trivial pretty much IS the issue.
brand125 17
12 - thats the whole point of the fml, so you pretty much re stated it... a super clingy manipulative girlfriend is the issue
Miss_Whipped 43
Congratulations. You missed the point of my comment. I was stating that there isn't an issue with wanting to hold someone's hand while crossing the street, except in the case where OP's girlfriend is threatening to break up with him over it.
brand125 17
yeah we understand. the reason you got so many downvotes is because you stated the obvious. sorry, the fml community is picky in weird ways ;)
MrConcise 35
I think the comment was posing the question of why the threat was made in the first place. "I don't see a problem with this", so why didn't OP do it to begin with? Why was the threat made in the first place? Not necessarily stating the obvious, you just have to read between the lines to see the purpose of the comment.
logicnazi 18
You were making a sarcastic comment. Most people are idiots or disingenuously altruistic.
more4me 27
#12 - THAT'S the issue, dear!
Welshite 40
And I'll bet you didn't even look both ways either. For shame.
_Could_Be_Worse 11
She sounds pretty... crossed, I'm so sorry
StraightUpBaller 14
Psycho bitch? Psycho bitch.
Pizzapiggy1 18
She needs to get a grasp on reality
renrioku 15
She doesn't want a grasp on reality she wants a grasp on his hand.
Teyros 24
You won't be holding her hand much longer Op. She doesn't sound like she cares that much about the relationship.
Jujuboo_3 25
Threaten to break up with her when she doesn't put up the toilet seat for you(:
lyricalservant 21
I don't think OP is that kind of person #20
ToxicTyrael 26
^oh my god this cat is adoreable!!!!
Jord_Fox 14
Don't sound like she loves you enough Dump her and did someone who doesn't have ridiculous requirements
Reider022 16
Next time grab her hand and throw her into traffic do yourself a favour.
gracehi 33
That's terrible. A wood chipper would be much more efficient.
Reider022 16
Haha xD alright babe grab my hand were goin for a walk to the lumberyard gonna smell some freshly diced spine tree
False_Stupidity 42
More efficient? Perhaps, but messier!