By Anonymous - 29/05/2015 14:23 - United States - Bradenton

Today, my father told me that my mental health issues, which have been confirmed by multiple doctors and tests, are all caused by the fact that I'm slightly overweight and don't exercise a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 420
You deserved it 4 771

Same thing different taste

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he's not completely wrong, correct food and exercise actually can improve mental health!

Soo what's the cause of your father being an asshole?


XBurytheCastleX 25

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although the father is a douche and her illness is obviously not caused by her weight, its proven that exercise is benificial to mental health and would improve ops quality of life, so they should take that part of the advice and stay active. (im assuming that op has depression, if not then sorry this might not apply)

and im not saying to exercize to loose weight or to magically get rid of a mental disease, just that even for a skinny person, regular excerize improves mental health,

I find exercise is actually a great way to help manage my anxiety. It allows me to safely think things through and all the adrenaline / physical responses it produces get safely used up in the running. And I feel great afterwards too. Also works well if I'm angry, upset or just need to clear my head


I have to agree. when I exercise my OCD is almost non existent and I do not need to take anxiety medication except in rare circumstances.

XBurytheCastleX 25

Everyone's different. Exercising doubles my anxiety and does weird shit to my ADHD

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she is right you know I had bad depression and now I am 20 lbs lighter and much happier

i dont know why this is downvoted. ops father was super rude, and being overweight obviously didnt cause the mental heath issues. BUT it is correct that regular excercise does help with illnesses such as depression, regardless how much someone weighs. it would benifit a skinny person too. so why would advice that would help op get downvoted? because its not what people wanna hear...

Whilst that's true I think the comment was downvoted because it came across (unintentially I'm sure) like it was trivislising mental health down to just doing some sport and being fine. Sport is good but OPs Dad saying that this would fix it is insensitive and ignorant and the comment seems to agree

In my experience, exercise just hurts..

Why is everyone here doing exactly what the father is doing? You're focusing on her weight and exercise, which for all we know OP is healthy and her father is being an asshole, but ignoring OP's mental state. Stop commenting making polite suggestions that exercise is beneficial, if OP wants to exercise they will; that's the thing about mental health, it suppresses your desire for certain activities. Moreover, for those who comment on what helped their mental state, OP is a separate person to you and will most likely find help through different ways. Just stop.

It's true that some mental states deprive people of the will to do exercise. However will isn't what's needed to get to the gym. encouragement is. So the OP should definitely start doing some exercise as it will improve his/her ability to cope. It does this by providing increased blood flow to the entire body (brain included) and more energy for other activities that can ease such mental problems. So in general it's a good idea for anyone to exercise.

84 - we are NOT doing what the father is doing. i already agreeed that ops weight is not the cause, which is what the father said. just because a depressed state makes you not want to exercize, does not change the fact that exercize would help. no one said it would fix the problem. i would know, im in a similar situation with depression. we are giving op more helpful advice THAN YOU,so unless you have something helpful to tell op then your not helping.

#26 It is being downvoted because OP's father didn't say that exercise might help. He said it was the cause.

Something that the comment completely dismisses as if OP's father was being helpful instead of being an unsupportive ass.

108 - yeah but thats irellevant to why they got down voted, the commenter DIDNT say they agree with the father on that. literally nobody is agreeing with the father, people. the commentor just took the opportunity to say that it wouldnt hurt to exercize. no one is saying the father is correct in that weight caused the illness, thats obviously not true. people are just saying that exericze would improve their quality of life, as it does help mental health. FACT. please read more carefully and not put words in peoples mouths.

#97 okay chill out I did not direct my comment at you so why are you acting like you're a target? I simply stated OP did not post this FML to hear exactly what their father said, to exercise. They posted it most like for some well earned sympathy. I wasn't in any way offering advice to OP because how can I know what they're going through? It's called defending a voiceless person, seriously chill out and give them sympathy; OP will work out their depression in their own way and own time.

the point is, the op could ignore the exercize comment from their dad because he went about it wrong. but if they hear it in a more "its not your fault but you should still exercize" way, then they might be encouraged to do actually do it. maybe op didnt get the importance of exercize because it was only brought up to criticize their weight and not mental health. and they got my sympathy when i clicked "your life sucks". i feel bad for them, but i dont come on fml to say "aw that sucks" to every post. dont like my advice keep scrolling ;)

The evidence for it improving mental health is actually pretty limited. Most suggests people who exercise have better mental health than those who don't, but without considering which way the cause and effect are. In other words, the it could be that people with better mental health are just more able to exercise. Not saying don't exercise, but while it has a place, it's rarely the magic answer people like to pretend it is.

it isnt a magic answer. i have depression, and its hard to get the motovation to go out and exercize, some mornings i dont want to even get out of bed. but the days i go for a walk i do feel better and it helps clear my head. im a hypocrite, i dont exercize regularily

(accidently clicked send and didnt edit in time) im a hypocrite because i dont exericize regularly, but im not going to lie and say it doesnt help when i do

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I don't see how that can be the root cause, but exercising and losing weight can help you feel better physically and mentally, so maybe you should try it out, even if you're not overweight.

drayloon 50

Based on OP's father's diagnosis, I'd venture to guess OP's mental health issues are hereditary

he's not completely wrong, correct food and exercise actually can improve mental health!

Exactly what I thought! Although it does depend. Being overweight can lead to being judged/bullied, which can make anyone depressed or anxious to be around people. Feeling better about your self image and the release of endorphins from exercise can and will help overall... But I doubt it'd help extreme issues like schizophrenia or bipolar disorders.

Though MAY, POSSIBLY improve mental health, it usually cannot completely solve it. I hope he was trying to be helpful and suggest helpful ways to aide in feeling better, but it sounds like he was being an asshole and saying that their mental health issues are just being overweight.

Plot twist: OP's dad actually did suggest it in a positive fashion, however due to OP's mental instability, OP took the message the wrong way. it is also possible that this happened not due to illness, but normal miscommunication and then escalated into a fight and more offensive than intentional. I'm waiting for the follow up FML from the father.

This is very true! When you exercise, your brain releases hormones that help your mental state such as dopamine, etc.

#16 I can confirm that it eases the effects of bipolar disorder. Schizophrenia I'm unsure on though. But maybe.

Except thats not really accurate. Diagnosed mental illness can't be fixed with proper diet and exercise. We aren't talking about a father saying "Some exercise would make you feel better" this is about someone who is completely disregarding mental illness and acting like its not real.

SmittyJA24 26

Your dad has cause & effect confused. I'm also certain your dad isn't a medical / psychological professional.

Sometimes cause and effect are the same, since a lot of issues to do with weight and mental wellness are self-perpetuating.

I have autism (Aspergers) and while it's not caused by anything and I was born with it, exercising definitely helps with my anxiety and stuff. It's not your fault, op, but to keep your mind healthy and free of anxiety and to reduce depression, exercise can do wonders. I don't mean like heavy exercise , just taking a walk can be enough

Agreed. Maybe it doesn't work for everyone but my boyfriend has told me that going on a walk a few times a week helped to improve his feelings of anxiety

I have crippling anxiety and type 2 diabetes as well. Daily walks help with both despite not being overweight or unhealthy in general. I avoid buying much to force myself to trek to the store over a mile away. I also walk my housemate's dog as I can't just wander around outside for no purpose other than walking.

You aren't born with anxiety and being born with aspergers is a controversy. You do not come out of your mothers womb being nervous about the doctors around, nor are you nervous around people as a child at preschool. It has more to do with environmental factors growing up.

Aspergers can cause traits of anxiety though and make certain situations more stressful. And you can certainly be born with a reactive (anxious) temperment which some would say is an early form of anxiety. Environment can influence that but the idea you cannot be born with anxiety is controversial.

It is my opinion, granted an opinion that may very well be wrong, but most people stating that their anxiety and quirks are genetic is just an excuse to not seek help and change yourself. Aspergers is also more than anxiety, it is the inability to understand sarcasm, and other basic human conversation. Similar to Sheldon cooper on the Big Bang theory. I don't believe either of these things can be self diagnosed which they often are.

There's also " studies" that say people get autism from vaccines, but that's bullshit. Autism is a neurological disorder that people are BORN with and they don't show signs as early as being born. It's also a really wide spectrum, so if you don't know what you're talking about then please, shut up. I experience it on a daily basis and I'm pretty sure i know what I'm talking about, because of all the doctors and people I've had to see through my life.

Similar to Sheldon is a very narrow description however. There's many behaviours associated with aspergers. And while I have an obsessive interest in certain subjects, I'm not as antisocial as he is. I have few friends, but am very close to them. Also I suck at math and physics, however art and history are my stronger subjects. The same way he's smart in more applied fields, I'm smarter in less structured fields.

The fact that you go around telling people you're autistic with aspergers is a bit of a slap in the face for people with autism. Your self diagnosis of being a little bit weird and anti-social as aspergers hardly qualifies as a born birth defect. When you look at most people with autism you can tell they are autistic, what you are is very different. Also as I stated before, aspergers is not knowing when someone is being sarcastic, not being able to tell a rhetorical question from a regular one, miss interpreting signs of anger in other people. You were not born with this, I am sorry but it is the truth.

juturnaamo 29

There are other communication issues, you just likely haven't seen how far many with Aspergers have been able to come. My brother was speech delayed, and had comprehension issues closer to Drax, as opposed to Sheldon. They also tend to have a lot of anxiety due to noise, textures, and physical contact which unfortunately, everyone wants to inflict on anxious children.

53 - You should probably stop talking about things you clearly know nothing about.

Number 63, people with slightly awkward social life's should stop telling people they're autistic. You are not born with anxiety, that is a fact. Being born with Aspergers is controversial, and i doubt this self diagnosed 18 year old really has it.

New development, people with aspergers are actually unable to feel social anxiety. Look it up, it is a fact. This debate is pretty much over.

#74- There are always huge individual differences when it comes to things like Aspergers. You can never say that it's a "fact" that people with Aspergers are unable to feel social anxiety unless you've spoken to every single person with the syndrome. In fact, #8 mentioned anxiety in their comment (I'm not sure that they were referring to social anxiety, but still).

Actually it is proven, let me explain: Asperger's syndrome is the inability to understand social reactions, there fore it is next to impossible to feel social anxiety because you have no idea how other people are feeling. Does the person you're talking to hate trains? You have no idea. Do they want to change the conversation? You have no idea. People with aspergers may hate being touched/being around people, but it is completely different than feeling nervous around people. The poster of this comment does NOT have aspergers.

Who are you to tell them what they do or don't have? I'm assuming that the poster of the comment has been diagnosed. They probably know a little more about it than you do.

The poster of this comment has not been diagnosed and I have done simple research allowing me to access that obviously someone who doesn't know what an awkward situation is can feel nervous about being in one. It is proven that Asperger's cannot feel social anxiety.

"The poster of this comment has not been diagnosed"... Where did you get that from? As someone about to get a degree in clinical psychology, I disagree with you.

Soo what's the cause of your father being an asshole?

thatguy240 27

So her dad's an asshole for wanting her to exercise and be healthy?.

no, but by saying her illnessess are completly her fault for being fat, yes that makes him and asshole

Everyone is saying he's right because exercising helps with anxiety and depression... Newsflash! Mental health issues are not limited to those two problems! There is a wide range of things that could be affecting OP's mental health, and if they could be fixed by losing a couple of pounds and running a bit more, I'm sure the doctors who confirmed the problems would have said as much. But of course, it's always helpful for family members to act like they know better than your doctors, and make you feel worse about yourself than you already do whilst struggling with your mental health. Dad's an asshole.

tantanpanda 26

#37, typicall of someone like you to not understand the entire point everyone is trying to make. no one is saying the father is 100% correct. The fact that OP has a mental disease due to a lack of exercise is wrong, but the exercise will help with op's condition. No one is saying that exercise will cure OP. We're only saying that it will help. Besides, how do you know this is exactly what OP's father said? seriously, OP could have manipulated the words to make him out to seem like an asshole. Many people retell stories completely wrong based on their emotions. could be the same thing happening here. This is a lot of assuming on my part, but you're the one assuming his whole family is, indirectly, unsupportive so it evens out.

104 is right. absolutly no one on this site said that exercize is the only way to treat the disorder, people are just saying that it WOULD help, and people like 37 are taking it out of context and acting offended that someone suggest someone exercize. newsflash, just because someone offers advice that is proven to help, doesnt mean they are saying it is the only and final solution. of course it wont cure the disorder.

37 - its as if youre saying that because people arnt including therapy and medication in their advice, that the exercize part is not valid either. no ones saying exercize alone is the key. we donr even know the disorders to include specific treatments, so whats your point?

Though I agree that mental health is an important issue, and a real cause for concern, there have been some recent studies that suggest that 30 minutes of walking thrice a week can effectively help combat anxiety and depression. So while your father may be insensitive, he's trying to help!

Barely 10 years ago they discovered a class of chemicals, myokines, that muscles produce when exercised that have such wide reaching effects they have only begun to study.