Love: Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I... - FML

By GlueAndCarrots - 29/05/2015 15:05 - Canada - Markham

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 209

You deserved it 4 343

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By AlonsoKold - 07/04/2014 23:39 - United States - Jackson

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 242

You deserved it 5 864

By ouch - 16/06/2016 10:14 - United States - Livonia

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 374

You deserved it 2 013

By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 10:25 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 658

You deserved it 3 951

By Anonymous - 25/07/2014 21:18 - United Kingdom - Ilkeston

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 589

You deserved it 11 726

By keep_your_eyes_on_the_sidewalk - 25/06/2018 15:00

Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 155

You deserved it 218

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 885

You deserved it 3 060

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 11:28 - United States - Manhattan Beach

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 966

You deserved it 2 106

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 232

You deserved it 3 696

Twins

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 01:06 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 904

You deserved it 2 935

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 076

You deserved it 4 184

Next

Top comments

tehman117 21

Saturday 30 May 2015 0:09

Is she 3?

irish_lad 16

Saturday 30 May 2015 0:10

She threatened. Now you carry out that threat

Comments

Tannasgh 22

Saturday 30 May 2015 5:10

Is she a little old lady?

christoph06 10

Saturday 30 May 2015 5:29

Ruuuuuuuuuun

justdsve 1

Saturday 30 May 2015 5:37

DUMP THAT BITCH NOW!!!

Astrobomb 21

Saturday 30 May 2015 5:38

YDI for dating a psycho.

TDKopecki 16

Saturday 30 May 2015 5:49

Hearing this reminds me being single isn't all that bad.

UtadaMisori 4

Saturday 30 May 2015 6:08

what is she 5? Tell her to put her big girl panties on and cross the street like a strong independant woman.

seniji 8

Saturday 30 May 2015 6:21

Does her shoes still light up?if so you need help.

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 30 May 2015 6:28

gotta stop dating middle school girls

lol_mar11 8

Saturday 30 May 2015 6:35

But I mean is that really the kind of relationship you want to be in anyway? Seems like you dodged a bullet OP!

ToxicTyrael 26

Saturday 30 May 2015 10:36

You can't say that untill they broke up.

Idahome 6

Saturday 30 May 2015 6:36

sounds like one of those 4th grade relationships. on and off again on an hourly basis. if you're both adults, then you're better off without her if that's the way she really feels. smh

3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Birthday Abuse Relatable Scams Money Social Media Kids School Education Parents Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Transportation Bikes Cops Family Fight Work Gross Customers

The Top

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 409

You deserved it 8 930

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 67

The Top

Today, my coworker and I were discussing our office's lack of break room, and how we should suggest a picnic table for our upcoming landscaping. We concluded that someone would let their dog steal our lunches if we ate outside. Working at the vet's sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 242

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 882

You deserved it 8 237

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 155

You deserved it 24 273

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 098

You deserved it 36 905

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 617

You deserved it 11 645

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 176