Today, my girlfriend's guinea pig managed to go down her shirt. I have been dating her for 3 weeks and I haven't even kissed her yet. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML
Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML
Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
l33tm0nk3y 0
All you people making fun of the OP for not kissing this girl despite having dated for 3 weeks...you're really the most immature ones here. If you think the physical stuff is what matters in a relationship, I'd love to see how your marriages work out. You want to know why so many marriages fail these days? Because so many people try to build them on a foundation of superficial infatuation and physical "intimacy," rather than a deeper emotional and psychological connection. Seriously, quit acting like hormone-flooded 15-year-olds and grow up. That being said...how exactly is this an FML? Okay, so the guinea pig went down her shirt...so what? Animals do stuff like that. I fail to see how this is a bad thing for you, nor how exactly it relates to the fact of dating for 3 weeks without kissing.
ChaosChild 0
Really? Are you jealous of a creature with a 3-5 year life span that eats its young? Really dude if you want to kiss her then kiss her, start with her cheek if you're that nervous.
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Comments (100)
wobbla 4
i love how everyones saying he only wants her for sex kissing your girlfriend doesnt necessarily mean you want her for sex.. but still, 3 weeks is kind of a long time without kissing..
This2Rudy 7
#60: through a tube
InsanityC 1
I didn't have my first kiss until I was 15, and my boyfriend patiently waited for five months until I told him that I was ready... Three WEEKS in nothing, don't be so expectant. Some people have standards.
unicornsarereal4 13
Only 3 weeks, wow, she just may want to take things slow, that is always better :) I'm 12 and I just had my first kiss like 2 months ago with my BF of so far 8 months :)
tink516 4
Okay really. 3 weeks is so not the time to be thinking about kissing. I'm 17 and have not kissed anyone yet. I've had good steady boyfriends twice that never pushed me because they knew I wanted to wait. I am waiting for the right person before I kiss anyone let alone before doing anything else.
JBsGirlee 7
Love isn't all physical. I mean this really isn't a big deal!
sweetypieluvsyou 9
If it really bugs you then talk to her about it. Complaining to bored people on the internet wont get you anywhere.
gunnerysgt 15
That sucks... But he'll I got my first girlfriend in march, and didn't kiss her till may I can't even see her over summer because of her paranoid mum, suck it up princess
xxlowsnip3rxx 16
lame first date had a makeout session
bailie008 3
What's so bad about that? Maybe she's never had her first kiss and is too nervous to make the first move?