Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had...

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 948

You deserved it 10 735

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Same thing different taste

Nice way to go, really

By motorboatofdoom - 30/03/2020 05:00

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 310

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 950

You deserved it 5 973

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 310

You deserved it 7 771

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 136

You deserved it 3 960

So good it's bad

By kingpin7 - 30/03/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 493

You deserved it 10 320

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 851

You deserved it 6 113

By AVeryConfusedGuy - 11/05/2017 22:00

Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 830

You deserved it 622

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 634

You deserved it 6 234

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 706

You deserved it 7 410

By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 342

You deserved it 6 472

grapisy 8

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

Still counts.

FUUUandyourmom 16

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

What a wonderful girlfriend you've got there!

Comments

GabbyCharityM 0

Friday 22 July 2011 19:26

I believe thats the nicest way possible to tell your boyfriend he's ugly.

U_Go_Boom 0

Friday 22 July 2011 21:21

I agree, atleast she's still willin to give him some. although in this case it seems she just wants it herself.

Justincolon22 15

Saturday 23 July 2011 9:35

wow ha

Epsilonyx 15

Friday 22 July 2011 19:26

That's a keeper.

BountyBass 13

Friday 22 July 2011 19:28

ur ugly guy! fyl

v1kt4r 13

Friday 22 July 2011 19:29

u my good man jus got paper bagged by ur gf...

frankgrimes 4

Friday 22 July 2011 19:30

why would that even sound like a good idea.

ezzydote 0

Friday 22 July 2011 19:30

damn I dnt think the bag was for that I think she think you ugly

clothesoptional 0

Friday 22 July 2011 19:32

next time just poke holes in the bag :-P

ohmandapants 16

Friday 22 July 2011 19:33

that has to be the worst excuse I've ever heard, how gullible are you OP?

C_mac1 0

Friday 22 July 2011 19:34

Why did you let her put it over your head?

Channing0806 7

Friday 22 July 2011 19:43

I'm guessing he doesn't get laid very often so he figured what the hell why not.

Vaginabutter 15

Friday 22 July 2011 19:36

at least you started to get some.

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I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 168

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I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 703