Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML
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Top comments
grapisy 8
Still counts.
FUUUandyourmom 16
What a wonderful girlfriend you've got there!
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Comments (400)
rebelsrock 17
and why didn't you just take off the bag?
jjajajap 3
She put a bag on your head, STILL COUNTS
Symmetry88 0
63 it wasn't cool the first time and it's not going to be cool now. so stop.
horrorfreak79nj 2
Wow ... either she has an asphyxiation fetish, or you really are a walking example of the ol' 'they are so ugly they need a bag over they're head' stereotype. So, regardless; she wasn't very truthful in her reason for making you wear it.
dolphincheddar 10
how is this an FML? Thats fudging kinky.. I'm kinda jealous. you know most people have to pay for that kinda thing
TypicuL 0
Wouldn't it be a good idea to take it off?...
razzadawg 0
Doesn't matter had sex
ctm987654321 3
is she really that good?
titmouselax 1
you're an idiot, you're either really ugly or your face makes it hard for her to think about someone else.
enonymous 9
He's a triple bagger. you need a bag he needs a bag and the video camera needs a bag.