Love: Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't... - FML

By drunkluv - 12/04/2011 02:58 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 035

You deserved it 4 182

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By drunkdial - 06/01/2010 05:53 - France

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 343

You deserved it 4 608

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 691

You deserved it 11 367

So happy together…

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 22:00

Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 129

I was the bullet in the relationship

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 10:00

Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 348

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 140

You deserved it 2 100

By OMFG I LOVE MLP - 24/08/2012 21:00 - Germany - Mainz

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 928

You deserved it 3 791

Who'll tell him?

By Anonymous - 03/03/2023 12:00 - Japan

Today, the girl I like said she was out drinking with a friend. I'm pretty sure she has been lying about all the times she has "fallen asleep" and could not talk, and is actually seeing other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 784

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 923

You deserved it 38 531

On the sauce

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 17 911

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 280

Next

Top comments

random_ribbons 15

Tuesday 12 April 2011 9:19

Well, you must have at least one redeeming quality if she stayed with you. Unless she was drunk the entire time...

olii_fml 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 9:15

Ouch, that sucks..

Comments

viciouspanda 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 22:58

at least she's honest? lol

jenna5960 7

Wednesday 13 April 2011 1:15

You deserve it for dating a drunk.

hasan_shami2013 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 3:08

cheer is not a sport, just cause it's on ESPN does not mean it's a sport, it's not in any olympic games, but you like to think that it's a sport so whatever.

endora914 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 3:37

sometimes the truth hurts sorry ...

LaDiva_fml 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 3:48

at least she was honest

sansteth94 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 3:49

owned...

jjfml55555 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:28

OH THAT'S ******!!!

VeggieTrunks 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 7:42

idk I think u shouldn't take it too hard since she is now with you. some ppl just don't give ppl a chance and sometimes later realize they should have

iheartprinceroyc 4

Wednesday 13 April 2011 8:35

the truth hurts but at least you know how she feels about you :(

1234USMC 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 9:51

just blow up her house

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The Top

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 202

You deserved it 3 628

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 229

The Top

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 549

You deserved it 4 513

Today, while dreaming, I was thirsty and grabbed a glass of water to drink. The taste was so horrible that it caused me to wake up and realize I was drinking the isopropyl alcohol I keep on my nightstand for my CPAP machine. All Poison Control had to say was, "Uh oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 788

You deserved it 611

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I wouldn't use $5,000 to build him a new gaming computer with my surrogate compensation, even though he basically refuses to get a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 255

Today, I've come to the conclusion that the best way to remember when my wife of 17 years and I last got intimate was to remember which American president was in power at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 192

Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 968

You deserved it 4 269

Today, I was forced to listen and politely nod with a smile on my face, as my boss droned on and on, explaining that everything in the universe is slowly getting bigger, aside from him, because he's never felt so short before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 578

You deserved it 2 315