Love: Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't... - FML

By drunkluv - 12/04/2011 02:58 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 035

You deserved it 4 182

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By drunkdial - 06/01/2010 05:53 - France

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 343

You deserved it 4 608

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 691

You deserved it 11 367

So happy together…

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 22:00

Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 129

I was the bullet in the relationship

By Anonymous - 10/01/2023 10:00

Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 348

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 140

You deserved it 2 100

By OMFG I LOVE MLP - 24/08/2012 21:00 - Germany - Mainz

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 928

You deserved it 3 791

Who'll tell him?

By Anonymous - 03/03/2023 12:00 - Japan

Today, the girl I like said she was out drinking with a friend. I'm pretty sure she has been lying about all the times she has "fallen asleep" and could not talk, and is actually seeing other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 784

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 923

You deserved it 38 531

On the sauce

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 17 911

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 280

Next

Top comments

random_ribbons 15

Tuesday 12 April 2011 9:19

Well, you must have at least one redeeming quality if she stayed with you. Unless she was drunk the entire time...

olii_fml 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 9:15

Ouch, that sucks..

Comments

LvMyLfe 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 20:29

what a bitch! *****

Ashilivione 1

Tuesday 28 June 2011 18:46

maybe it wasn't meant to be mean? maybe being drink was a good thing cause your not usually her type and she let go and went for it?

Oichiii 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 22:38

I feel bad for you...

Vertas 10

Tuesday 3 January 2012 21:02

Hey you won. Who cares? She's still dating you isnt she?

ImafukNskittleYO 4

Monday 5 March 2012 23:13

I bet shes blonde and thought the effects of alchohol lasted months. :/ fyl for having an idiot as a girlfriend.

SkoomaKi 27

Saturday 9 June 2012 11:53

Why would she say that?! Obviously dump her. That's really bitchy..

MellyLuck1484 7

Monday 11 June 2012 13:31

.... I only started dating my husband as a safe lay for "in-between relationships". I agreed to be his GF because I figured eh, why not when he asked me... but soon I felt that I didn't deserve such a wonderful guy in my life, and returned his love in a huge way. He proposed, we got married, and I honestly couldn't imagine my life without him. Girls can fall in real love with guys they don't think they like at first. Much better than the flashy lust crap most people get.

Khezwik101 5

Thursday 8 November 2012 17:50

Dumbass

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Scams Social Media Money Kids School Education Parents Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Fight Family Work Gross Customers

The Top

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 86

Today, after getting ghosted by a company for a job I really wanted, I posted on LinkedIn, venting my frustration with companies not having the decency to send rejection letters. My current boss, who didn't know I was job hunting, saw it, and let me know I'm now on the shit list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 912

The Top

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 658

You deserved it 59 266

Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 196

You deserved it 4 879

Today, I had to teach my 13-year-old sister that sugar and salt don't, "cancel each other out to make the taste neutral". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 817

You deserved it 716

Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with my shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing my underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of my speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 572

You deserved it 4 027

Today, I discovered that whenever my house is affected by a blackout, the cooler for my Xbox will turn on by itself when it's fixed. My Xbox cooler flashes repeatedly, alternating between several bright colors, when it turns on. If I'm asleep when it happens, which is often the case, it wakes me up. Every. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 379

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 418

You deserved it 2 322