Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
So happy together…
Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML
I was the bullet in the relationship
Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Who'll tell him?
Today, the girl I like said she was out drinking with a friend. I'm pretty sure she has been lying about all the times she has "fallen asleep" and could not talk, and is actually seeing other people. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
On the sauce
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Tasty
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Top comments
random_ribbons 15
Well, you must have at least one redeeming quality if she stayed with you. Unless she was drunk the entire time...
olii_fml 0
Ouch, that sucks..
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Comments (116)
LvMyLfe 0
what a bitch! *****
Ashilivione 1
maybe it wasn't meant to be mean? maybe being drink was a good thing cause your not usually her type and she let go and went for it?
Oichiii 0
I feel bad for you...
Vertas 10
Hey you won. Who cares? She's still dating you isnt she?
ImafukNskittleYO 4
I bet shes blonde and thought the effects of alchohol lasted months. :/ fyl for having an idiot as a girlfriend.
SkoomaKi 28
Why would she say that?! Obviously dump her. That's really bitchy..
MellyLuck1484 7
.... I only started dating my husband as a safe lay for "in-between relationships". I agreed to be his GF because I figured eh, why not when he asked me... but soon I felt that I didn't deserve such a wonderful guy in my life, and returned his love in a huge way. He proposed, we got married, and I honestly couldn't imagine my life without him. Girls can fall in real love with guys they don't think they like at first. Much better than the flashy lust crap most people get.
Khezwik101 5
Dumbass