Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all that, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML
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Top comments
DisturbedCupcake 3
I feel so sorry for your girl. You need to beat it more often -_-
Smyth 3
When you finished, you shouldve been like "first".
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Comments (111)
saint25 0
that's all?! FYL
rileykins 0
you're a damn champion.
ehaile4 0
he's faster than usain bolt
bitemeeplz 0
that gotz me hot..
Maflagulator 1
18....so you're telling us that you are nice and moist? OP's GF didn't even have a chance to get herself nice and moist.
misfitSuperStar 0
33- thinking of your stomach & you saying 'nice and moist' is making me 'nice and nauseous'!!
triggerit 5
#48 do not touch with your dirty hands this noble and respective bunch of muscles...
TheBestManEver 0
@79 Johnny's hands are quite clean, he's a doctor. And i fail to see this "bunch of muscles" you are referring to.
triggerit 5
look here everman... this "one-big-abb" is a result of every night sex exercises...if you can not believe your own eyes pls ask the owner to touch it...
TheBestManEver 0
#95 I believe you meant to say "sexercises", and I'd very much rather take your word for it.
indi80 0
hey 18 I can get u hotter. what say
bitemeeplz 0
Ha, it depends, what's in it for me ;P
indi80 0
143 what you want.. I am very flexible.. as u say
bitemeeplz 0
How flexible? ;P
indi80 0
how do u like
bitemeeplz 0
how don't I like
indi80 0
ok tell me what you don't like
narcoticjunkie 0
wow, that's just pathetic , I could see why you have problemS
cheese91 0
I'd consider yourself lucky.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Well, of course you're going to come really quickly if you haven't had sex in several weeks...
perdix 31
I think he just has to reframe the time scale. Instead of thinking he came ten seconds after he penetrated her, he ought to brag how he's held it in for weeks! That would be legendary control, that is, if he didn't die from the dreaded DSBs.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Haha! Way to think positive, Perdix! "Oh yeah baby, I can hold my load for WEEKS..."
perdix 31
Thanks, it's called "marketing." It's not a bug, it's a feature.
JustAnotherPerso_fml 0
Well.....did the other guy end up helping ,OP?
TheBestManEver 0
Well obviously if she makes you ****** really quick it means that she's good at satisfying you, so I'd say your relationship has never been better.
PazBANG 0
lawlness. that's gotta be close to a record can someone google the fastest load?
shaymon 0
what's ur load
AlbaLiz 0
You're a one pump Jack!