Intimacy: Time is money

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 223

You deserved it 5 969

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Same thing different taste

Too much of a good thing

By Anonymous - 21/05/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 1 629

Stop begging

By cuckolddreams - 21/01/2015 19:06 - United States - Broken Bow

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 293

You deserved it 11 751

By candy man - 04/09/2014 19:32 - United States - Chapel Hill

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 739

You deserved it 10 778

Get on with it!

By QuickieGirl - 16/09/2011 11:28 - United States

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 6 128

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 436

You deserved it 7 540

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 917

You deserved it 7 113

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 558

You deserved it 17 599

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 10/10/2022 18:30 - Turkey

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 492

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 449

You deserved it 34 359

By pathetic - 20/08/2010 09:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 688

You deserved it 29 884

senseisuncommon 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:09

are you telling us we should use the asshole more often? or just calling him an asshole?

HatchetMan 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 22:21

They all say they want someone who can go all night, but very few really do.

Comments

2random 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 11:24

haha!! so its ok for a guy to say he doesnt want to have sex because he would rather play xbox , but a girl cant say sex takes too long ?

dakins 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 23:23

good point!

ifuckuprandomly 28

Sunday 12 June 2016 15:52

I've never known a man turn down sex, only women.

captcool024 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 9:07

you are an awful *****. ab.

shell0908 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 9:09

haha man u made my night with that comment u rock

Blobenshnogen 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 22:11

odd...i was thrown that line before too?

Bunbu 8

Tuesday 24 February 2009 23:02

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

senseisuncommon 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:09

are you telling us we should use the asshole more often? or just calling him an asshole?

comedybreak 20

Thursday 3 May 2012 8:09

No, she's felling us to use the asshole. Judging by her picture she probably takes it in all three holes, like I do.

SaraAnn1401 8

Sunday 30 June 2013 5:03

Lmfao hell to the yeah!!!!!

HatchetMan 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 22:21

They all say they want someone who can go all night, but very few really do.

RyeGye24 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 0:43

No, not **** your life, **** you. Thats like complaining that your life is just going too well. gtfo

popoman 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 5:37

This calls for premature ejaculation.

wanderingidiot 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 22:06

WOW!!! surprising!! send her thisaways!

hank9216 0

Friday 13 March 2009 6:41

#15 and #17 its bad because they have NO sex

eschreib 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 21:08

i complain to my bf its not long enough

volvagia 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 5:18

what's not long enough?

senseisuncommon 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:12

i see what you did here... i would have to say... his middle finger.

crazydoug 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 1:26

tell her to come to me, ill be done with her in 30 sec

bridgette5866 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 13:55

so you're quick? and proud of it?

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 144

You deserved it 7 104

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, I have a UTI that spread to my kidneys, a yeast infection, and a herpes outbreak. Oh, and my period came this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 288

You deserved it 831

Today, my 18 year old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 068

You deserved it 6 293

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 3 691

Today, my husband thinks I stopped wearing underwear to be sexy. Truth is, I’ve gained so much weight during quarantine that even my granny panties no longer fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 649

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 103

You deserved it 75 830

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 028

You deserved it 40 332

Same thing different taste

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