Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Tickdick
Pittsburgh, United States
Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML
stopinthenameoflove
Dublin, Ireland
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
why
United States
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Pita
United States
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Anonymous
Nice imagery
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents. Trying to make a good impression, so when her dad asked how we met, I jokingly said, “She just couldn’t resist me.” Her mom smiled and asked if we used pet names. Without thinking, I said, “I call her my little burrito.” Her dad choked on his drink, and my girlfriend whispered, “Why would you say that?” FML
Noname
United States
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Anonymous
Cape Town, South Africa
The Conquest of Bread
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML
nick
United States
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
loserllamalick
Rochester, United States
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Top comments
spidergirl41 0
Does she like carrots? Also, don't forget the ranch!!! xD
Dmaster22 0
your penis is orange? JK FYL
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Comments (195)
Chad_Brisson 2
Ah nicknames. the funniest one I've ever gotten was the iguana (no not because it's green and scaly lol)
DameGreyWulf 1
Was it the whip-pain? (their tails are some mighty bad *******...)
jereinhorn 0
Or was it like because a lizard's tail, whenever threatened, just dropped off?
missbrunettgirl 0
well obviously your small penis isn't hendering you from having a sex life so YDI for being overly sensative.
frankenberrie 0
if it looks like a little baby carrier then you deserve it
ohFawkYou 0
i think thats cutee ! ;D LOL !
GigiEtTu 0
bbuuuurrrrnnnnnn
Cheechmo 0
hahahahaha FYL buddy.
EveryDayJackAss 0
are you asian by any chance...cuz im also too.....and i know it sucks cuz our species cant even get past 5 >_> and when one does get past that we say hes half white or something lol
bexox 0
Except that's a race, not a species.
theshinepolice 0
asians aren't a different species of human from anyone else.
aoife303 0
It's not race either. **** erectus or Neanderthal are a different race. What we see in **** sapians (humans) is genetic phenotype variation, just as tabby cats and ginger cats are all Felis Catus, and tigers are a different race to them. The term 'race' is only used because of old-fashioned pseudo-science which believed the 'uncivilised' peoples the West encountered as they travelled were something not quite human, closer to animals, and therefore more expendable and okay to treat appalllingly. Stereotypes based upon this false concept of race are just racializations, ignoring basic evolutionary biology.
Inoku 0
No, **** erectus is a different species, and Neanderthals are either a subspecies of **** sapiens or a different species entirely, depending on who you ask. **** is the genus, and the second word indicates the species name. (Similarly, tigers are not a different race than housecats; they are a different *species.*) Didn't you ever take biology?
bexox 0
House cats and tigers are in the feline family. They are in the same FAMILY, therefore, they're closely related, but not the same species, or "cat race". Race is mainly a cultural construct in humans. Asians and every other race of human are genus **** sapien.
jd_superjive 0
Hahahaha awwwwwwe thats so messed up. My bf told me that if i ever called his winky small he would kill himself, so i guess i cant be honest
i_is_a_tr00l 0
YDI For having a small penis. D:
Miss_Italia 0
AWW....thats....cute